Thursday, June 4, 2009

Crazy in love

If there's one thing I've learned since getting married and having kids it's that love and discipline are both VERY important. Sounds odd...but it's the complete, Gods honest truth. Without both things the household can-and probably will-become a jumbled mess. And sometimes that jumbled mess can turn into a total disaster.

After a rough week here at home with the Bears, and Papa Bear-don't worry, Mama Bear is not excluded-I've decided that it's time to set some rules. Children need boundaries. They need tough love. We all need to be respected and loved. As a married couple Papa Bear and I have learned about the 'Crazy Cycle.' Really simple concept...really hard to swallow! Essentially if act out of disrespect he reacts without love and it just goes 'round and 'round. The same thing can be applied to children.

You'd think that after being married for almost five years (Papa's July 14th!) the hubs and I would have a great working relationship and know EXACTLY what we each need to be happy and feel loved/respected. Truth is...we don't. We know some, but not all.

And same with the kids. One would think that after knowing your kid for two years (and then some) we would know exactly what he craves, what discipline techniques work and what don't. How he likes his milk and so on. We know the basics but it's time we dig deeper.

Um, wow. So I just confessed that my family is a little out of touch with one another. Yep, it happens. But it's not the end of the world.

Time for Mama and Papa Bear to have an 'upper management' meeting and set some rules and goals. For us. For the children.

Nothing too crazy. I think we just need a daily reminder to be the family that we desire to be. As soon as I got this idea I went straight to my trusty friend-Professor Google. While he and I talked I learned a few tips that are essential in creating family rules...

Make the rules age appropriate for your kids.

Make sure Mom and Dad both agree on the rules.

Keep the list as short as possible … too many rules, too much to remember.

Keep the rules positive and no finger pointing. (instead of 'no yelling' try 'we all talk sweet to each other.')

and lastly

Figure out if your family needs an incentive to follow the rules weather it be stickers, treats, time on the video games or computer, a special outing...the list can go on and on. What works for little Jack may not work for his sister Jill.

I don't have any fancy rules set up just yet because I am waiting for Papa Bear to get home so we can discuss them together. But when I do, don't worry, I will bore you with them. I'm hoping to make them look fun and pretty and possibly put them on the wall somewhere. May even show you that!!

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