Sunday, September 13, 2009

Bittersweet

The four of us ventured out to Toys R Us this afternoon after church. They had a deal going on where you bring in old baby gear and 'trade it in' to get 20% off your purchase. We chose to get Baby Bear a new car seat. He's getting so big.

It didn't take long to pick out the new seat. I pretty much knew which one it was going to be but there was one other seat I wanted to check out first. We ended up going with the same one as we have for Big Brother Bear! The Evenflo Triumph Advance LX! We love that seat so it was an easy pick. I also like that neither of them have a designated seat since the straps can be easily adjusted and Big Brother is still rear facing! And yes, he loves it!

Here he is checking out his new seat.

I never had second thoughts about getting rid of the bucket seat. That is, until we got to the check out lane and I see this...



The backside of the car seat. No big deal, right? Well, not so much. You see, that's the seat we bought for Lela less than a week before she was born. I didn't like that it was Winnie The Pooh nor did I like the color. But it had great safety features so I was sold. Funny thing is, Daddy ended up calling her Pooh Bear. So I guess it was fitting. All three of our children used that seat. But that wasn't the connection. It was our baby girl's seat first. And it was one more thing that we were getting rid of. One more piece of our baby gone out of our home. Standing right there in that check out line I lost it. Cried like a baby.

I went to the service desk and asked if I could get a picture of it real quick. Didn't really explain myself. The employee just looked at me funny then chuckled and asked what I was doing. She was going to remove the sign for me but I asked that she leave it on. She sure did think I was crazy. Then I explained. She teared up, said some encouraging words and gave me a big smile. I rubbed the seat one last time and walked out the door. New seat in the cart and tears rolling down my face.



I was regaining composure as we were setting Baby Bear's new seat. I then see two people in red shirts coming to our van. I thought maybe they had car seat tech there that I didn't know about coming to help us. Not exactly. It was the lady behind the service desk and the manager. They had been crying before they came out. The manager asked me if I would like to keep the car seat and still be able to keep my savings. I was overjoyed. Just the thought of those two ladies was great. They truly had a good heart. Our story had touched them and they just wanted to make me happy. I fought with myself over weather or not to keep the seat. We really have no need for it nor do we have room to just store it. It was nearing it's expiration date so I didn't want to donate it. She finally asked if I just wanted the cover. After holding my hands over my face for a few second I took her up on the offer. She told me to come in after we got the boys settled down and she would get it for me. I don't think it was even a full minute later she was back out with cover in hand. She handed it to me and I held on tight for a few moments and shed a few more tears.

Almost four years later and I am still having such a hard time with this. Actually, I think her death is just now hitting me...or maybe just hitting me harder than it has before. I'm glad to know that no matter how good or how bad things are God is right there with me. He is there is every high and every low. Even this one!

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. Psalm 54:4
Cast all your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22

3 comments:

Kara - Doula in training said...

Oh Tyra!!!! I wish I was there with you....I would have cried right along with you!!!! I'm crying now. I love you and you are amazing!

Amanda said...

Tyra I wish I was there to give you a big hug and shed tears with you. I love you

Shannon said...

I know I'm late to show up on this scene, but I'm teary over your story and I just wanted you to know I care.