Time-Out

Well my blog friends. The time has come. I am stepping away from the blogosphere for a little while. I don't plan on being gone too long as I'm a little addicted to blogging. I just think that right now while things are as crazy as they are that I need to take a step back and put my focus on other things.

My boys are getting so big so fast and changing from day to day. I really want to enjoy all the time I can with them while they are this age! It's so fun! Riley is talking a lot more and you can even understand most of what he's saying. Sam is doing his best to try some walking. Can't believe he will be a year old next month!

I may post a few pictures here and there till I get back in the mood to blog on a more regular basis.

Till then, God bless!

Hurt

It's not easy to admit when one is hurt. Specially if it isn't physical pain. Even harder to admit that it was your own {freaking} family that did the hurting.

While I wish badly that I could write it all out and use this blog as another sounding board I just can't. No need in rehashing what all happened and who it happened with. Just know that what was said/done was extremely hard to deal with.

Days later and I am still hurt. Still left with questions that will go unanswered because, well because I'm just too chicken to ask them why. And maybe that's a good thing. As far as I know one of these people doesn't even know that I am upset with them. Though it should be obvious without even talking or looking at me. What was said should be enough to make someone feel bad but not everybody has a genuine heart. Not saying mine is always genuine but I do try.

But life goes on and so does this blog. I can't let two people ruin my life. I still love them. Always will. And just for the record...NO, one of these two people is NOT my husband.

He's the best!

Bittersweet

The four of us ventured out to Toys R Us this afternoon after church. They had a deal going on where you bring in old baby gear and 'trade it in' to get 20% off your purchase. We chose to get Baby Bear a new car seat. He's getting so big.

It didn't take long to pick out the new seat. I pretty much knew which one it was going to be but there was one other seat I wanted to check out first. We ended up going with the same one as we have for Big Brother Bear! The Evenflo Triumph Advance LX! We love that seat so it was an easy pick. I also like that neither of them have a designated seat since the straps can be easily adjusted and Big Brother is still rear facing! And yes, he loves it!

Here he is checking out his new seat.

I never had second thoughts about getting rid of the bucket seat. That is, until we got to the check out lane and I see this...



The backside of the car seat. No big deal, right? Well, not so much. You see, that's the seat we bought for Lela less than a week before she was born. I didn't like that it was Winnie The Pooh nor did I like the color. But it had great safety features so I was sold. Funny thing is, Daddy ended up calling her Pooh Bear. So I guess it was fitting. All three of our children used that seat. But that wasn't the connection. It was our baby girl's seat first. And it was one more thing that we were getting rid of. One more piece of our baby gone out of our home. Standing right there in that check out line I lost it. Cried like a baby.

I went to the service desk and asked if I could get a picture of it real quick. Didn't really explain myself. The employee just looked at me funny then chuckled and asked what I was doing. She was going to remove the sign for me but I asked that she leave it on. She sure did think I was crazy. Then I explained. She teared up, said some encouraging words and gave me a big smile. I rubbed the seat one last time and walked out the door. New seat in the cart and tears rolling down my face.



I was regaining composure as we were setting Baby Bear's new seat. I then see two people in red shirts coming to our van. I thought maybe they had car seat tech there that I didn't know about coming to help us. Not exactly. It was the lady behind the service desk and the manager. They had been crying before they came out. The manager asked me if I would like to keep the car seat and still be able to keep my savings. I was overjoyed. Just the thought of those two ladies was great. They truly had a good heart. Our story had touched them and they just wanted to make me happy. I fought with myself over weather or not to keep the seat. We really have no need for it nor do we have room to just store it. It was nearing it's expiration date so I didn't want to donate it. She finally asked if I just wanted the cover. After holding my hands over my face for a few second I took her up on the offer. She told me to come in after we got the boys settled down and she would get it for me. I don't think it was even a full minute later she was back out with cover in hand. She handed it to me and I held on tight for a few moments and shed a few more tears.

Almost four years later and I am still having such a hard time with this. Actually, I think her death is just now hitting me...or maybe just hitting me harder than it has before. I'm glad to know that no matter how good or how bad things are God is right there with me. He is there is every high and every low. Even this one!

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. Psalm 54:4
Cast all your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22

Busy These Days

We have been so busy lately that I have neglected my blog. How tragic. I really am sorry to you few loyal readers. Now you have something, however pathetic, to read!

Riley is still doing great in his big boy undies. He doesn't always make it but that's okay. He will one day get the hang of it. The Elmo undies are his favorite. I knew I should have bought two packs of those since now I can't find more.

He is getting so much better with listening and not throwing tantrums. I don't know if it's something I did or if he's finally growing out of it. Either way, I love it. He has a 'time out' chair and we use it pretty much everyday but it works well and seems to do the trick. Another trick - 1 2 3. Yep, that's right, I'm counting. "Don't make me get to three!" That's me. It really works. Never thought I would use that trick but man, it works.

As each day comes and goes Riley is saying more and more words and piecing sentences together. True, I am usually the only one that can understand him but I am still proud! He is getting so big I can hardly stand it. Where did my baby go? It's already time to buy new jeans, shoes and even some shirts!

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Sam is growing like crazy. He is still a tiny little thing but he is getting there. The poor fella will have to wear one piece outfits throughout winter since he is so small...he would crawl right out of the pants.

Speaking of crawling, this kid cracks me up. He has the Army crawl mastered but refuses to pick his belly up off the floor. One day I sat him by the toy box and looked away for a moment and when I looked back at him he was standing up. I freaked out. He hadn't shown any signs that he was even near ready to do such things. Before we know it he will be running around the house with his brother.

He's also got two bottom teeth! Those things hurt. I am so glad they are on the bottom though otherwise I'm afraid nursing would hurt! The little bugger still refuses to take a bottle of any sort with anything in it. He's a true mama's boy!

Can you believe his birthday is just around the corner. It just occurred to me today that I need to be thinking about what we are going to do on his special day. I'm thinking Elmo. I didn't want to do any character themes for their first birthdays but he really seems to enjoy Elmo. And after-all...it's all about the kids!

**sorry, no pictures this time. I'm pooped and just too lazy to grab the camera and upload any! Next time, promise!

Father & Son

These two boys bring so much joy to my life. They love spending time together and I love watching them do it. This particular evening Paper Bear and Bear were laying on the floor watching cartoons and holding hands. It doesn't get any better than that.

Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.
Psalms 127:3

Changes

Nothing major. Just some simple {yea, that's a lie!} life changes. What I mean is that it's time to get myself back in shape and eating better. No more sitting on the couch and complaining that my thighs are too wide while I eat a whole pint of ice cream. No more drinking a few cokes a day and eating anything in sight that is sweet.

Nope. No more. Okay, maybe a little here and there. Can't go all cold turkey now. It's time to bust my hiney and do something about it. I've been saying that for a couple years now. But seriously, this time I've GOT to get off my rear end and get moving. Need to find some motivation. Something to keep me going once I start. Hmmm. Still working on that one.

I am determined to prove to myself that I CAN do this. It's not about losing weight. For me it's about living a healthier lifestyle. Being able to get and stay active for my boys and get my body nice and toned again. No more baby belly.

What exactly am I going to do? Well, I don't know yet! Yea, silly I know. But I've found a GREAT website called SparkPeople and it is chock full of all kinds of goodies. Anything from nutrition {I refuse to say diet!}, fitness, accountability and so on. It's a place to get information and also a place to talk with other people who are needing the same thing in message board forum. All kinds of free videos to use as well.

Today I did the whopping six minute lower body video and let me tell you, it's gonna take a while to get used to this. I'm also thinking I might try bike riding! I've always wanted to.

That's it for today. Time to get back to drinking more water. Coke, I'm gonna miss you!