Three Men and a Little Lady

The Letter 'A'

2011-03-28T13:08:00.002-05:00

Who says you can't learn your ABC's while making a pizza?! Riley LOVED this little project. Not only did he get to help me make lunch, he also learned more about the letter 'A'. Just another one of the perks of homeschooling!

This and That

2011-02-23T13:24:00.004-06:00

~1~

Both boys are now in big boy beds. We had to sell the bunk beds. Sometimes boys and bunk beds don't go well together. So we bid farewell to the unstackable bed and bought ones that could be separated. Safety first! Sam moved right from his crib to the twin bed without a hitch. I love that both my boys are in their own little twin beds (without rails, too!) and so do they. The only sad thing...it just reminds me of how fast they are growing :(

~2~

Between school and work I am one busy woman. Not sure I have ever been this busy. Chad and I don't get to spend as much time together as we did before but when we have free time we cherish every minute. Kind of makes it more special! School is going great. Well, all except for the fact that my math teacher is not my most favorite. I am almost done with my CNA class. It's crazy to think that in just a couple months I will be (if I pass state testing) a CNA! ME...a CNA. Capable of working in a nursing home. Part of me wants to work as a CNA while working on getting my nursing degree but on the other hand I enjoy (for the most part!) working at Shoe Carnival where I know for sure my schedule is light and flexible!

~3~

Speaking of school and work...between the two they keep me away from the house four nights a week. That means Mr. Wonderful (he really is!) is on duty! At first it was quite rough and I had my doubts. Silly me. It took a bit of adjusting but I quickly realized that he is VERY capable of caring for the boys when I am not around! Even though the boys wear him out he really does enjoy it. I am so glad they have this time alone...even though I hate being gone so many nights a week!

~4~

I think I need to hire a maid. I don't know how some people keep their homes so stinking clean with two or more little ones running around. Maybe they just have more motivation that I do. Pretty sure that's what it is. Know of a place where I could buy some?!

~5~

Riley's 4th (!) birthday is coming up! Where has the time gone? He has requested an Army themed birthday. So that's what he's getting. All he has asked for is an Army tank. Of course it's something that's hard to find. I think we will just do another family party here at the house. I like things nice and simple, and so does Riley, though he would love to go to Chuck E Cheese...but that place gives me the creeps! No thanks! Just last year he got a little red Strider bike and he loves it, except for the fact that it's red and not blue. He said he would like a blue one and that Sammy can have his red one for his birthday! Anyhoo, since you can do all kinds of fun things with a Strider bike I'm thinking about getting him a little bike ramp. Nothing crazy, just a simple and small up then down type of ramp. He says he doesn't want it because he wants the Army tank...he might just get both!

~6~

One last thing...do NOT let this happen to you!

It's simple

2011-01-13T19:29:00.002-06:00

Well, if you are three and a half years old!

Riley and I were discussing other ways to get our frustrations out other than throwing yourself on the floor and thrashing about. He, not I, though sometimes I wish I could act like that!

I asked him, 'Riley, do you have any ideas what you could do next time you get so very upset?'

He looks up at me and says that he will just go to his room and think about it till he could calm down. Okay, easy enough...

So then I asked him where he would go if we are at the park next time he throws a huge fit.

He looks at me with huge eyes and says, 'We can just build a bedroom for me at the park!'

How could you not squeeze that little face and kiss him all over!? He was so serious with his idea, too.

Then he went on to tell me that I needed to get a set of pink tools to carry around with me just in case we needed to build a bedroom while at the mall, Wal Mart, church and various other places we regularly go.

It was a simple solution...for a three and a half year old!

WWW

2010-12-15T22:32:00.003-06:00

Yes, this picture is a few months old but I just love everything about it. The three people in it, the scraped knees, the toys, my flip flops...the whole thing! It's my life...and I love it! So since I love it so much I thought it was worth of a WWW.

What: Mommy snuggling with her boys

When: Fourth of July 2010

Where: Mayfield High School

Elbow grease

2010-10-15T14:01:00.004-05:00

With a little elbow grease this solid wood table

(that I bought at a yard sale for THREE BUCKS)

was stripped of it's chipped and sticky black paint

back to it's birthday suit.

Well, he kept his pants on!

(yes, that is my shoe in the top left corner. I despise shoes, even when working with power tools!)

I loved the table and the price tag but I didn't love the finish. So I went to town sanding away (barefoot and without a mask!) and stopped when it looked like this!

Sprayed some black spray paint on, let it dry, wiped on some poly and it's like a whole new table.

I do realize I don't have an after photo but just imagine the top matching the legs!

Next project, painting a new (to us) bedroom set crisp white!

Boys

2010-10-12T16:29:00.006-05:00

Boys

Will

Boys

Stream of Consciousness

2010-08-18T17:05:00.003-05:00

I've got a lot to say these days but I just haven't been able to sit down and sort it all out. Some day soon I plan to do a post dedicated to our trip to Michigan to see Ryan! We had a great time and I can't wait to share the details with you! Right now I'm eating pancakes with Nutella (you should really go get yourself some!) and syrup. Was going to avoid the syrup so as not to eat such an unhealthy dinner but oh well! It's all good. I did spare the dreaded sticky stuff on the children's dinner. We all know what a mess that would be with two toddlers! Not to mention the dog with awfully fuzzy and crazy hair!

School started Monday and so far it's been a breeze. I have classes on Monday and Wednesday starting with General Psychology and ending with Math. The math is pretty basic because, well, I stink at math. Stink isn't really the word to use...it's really more like, I suck at math! Yea, that's better. Doesn't sound better but it's more accurate! Both my teachers are pretty awesome. My Psyc teacher is in our Sunday school class and his wife was my geometry teacher in high school! At least I know where I can go for help! On Monday my math teacher taught class without shoes on! Now that's my kind of teacher. Shoes are overrated. Seriously. Well, they are!

While we were out on the water in Michigan I snapped this great picture of Chad. I happen to think it's one of the better pictures I've taken of him. He's just not a good picture taker. Something happens when that flash goes off. His face just goes sour, or he's got the goofiest grin or his eyes are closed. Now that I think about it, Riley pretty much does the same thing. Unless he doesn't know I'm about to click!

(And yes, those are picnic tables in the water!)

Looking at that water makes me just want to lay on the beach and relax. But none of that nonsense is going to happen these days. Partly because we don't live that close to the lake and partly because I have a lot of walking to do just between two classes. I mean, could the buildings be any further apart?! Oh well. It's all good. At least till it's pouring down rain or the snow is three feet deep. Oh who am I kidding, we live in Kentucky. Not sure the last time there was three feet of snow on the ground. At one time anyhoodle!

Overdue

2010-08-17T14:57:00.003-05:00

I've waited just under six and a half years for this very moment. Words cannot even begin to describe just how awesome this picture is and what it means to me; so I'm not even going to try.

Check out this awesome GIVEAWAY

2010-08-03T16:25:00.002-05:00

I'm not usually a fan of blogging about giveaways but I couldn't pass this one up. I mean, who wouldn't want to win a new Silhouette Machine! This thing ROCKS! Endless fun and ideas right here in this little machine. I had my little heart set on getting a Cricut Expressions and then bam, this thing came out! Hey, maybe I could win one and buy the other?! I gal can dream, right?!

Check out the giveaway over at The Idea Room!

Of white picket fences and tree forts

2010-07-30T16:07:00.004-05:00

In the perfect world I would have a little pink house (it's cute trust me!) with a white picket fence trimming the front yard. A huge tree in the backyard with a daddy-made tree fort way up high. A chocolate lab laying in the grass under the tree just waiting for the kids to come back down to play. Two boys and two girls of course.

In the perfect world I would have a spotless house with white slip covered couches and a recliner for Mr. Wonderful, dinner on the table when he came home and a nice, relaxing dinner as a family at the table. A farmhouse table. Just to the left of the kitchen. They boys would share a room painted a grey-ish blue all decorated in a nautical theme and then the girls would have the most whimsical room you could imagine.

In the perfect world Mr. Wonderful and I would walk hand-in-hand everywhere we went. We would write mushy love notes and leave them around the house for the other one to find. We would sit in the hot tub together and have a glass of wine after the kids were all nestled in bed. We would talk about the day we had, about the future, the children, about growing old together and about our next date. A date where we didn't ague over dinner, where we completely and totally enjoyed the company of one another even if no words were spoken. Where we laughed so hard I cried. Where Mr. Wonderful really and truly felt like Mr. Wonderful.

You know, in a perfect world.

But you see, we don't live in a perfect world. We live in a world full of stress, work, school, crying children and a toddler right smack dab in the middle of OUR bed. A world where instead of that peaceful dinner on the dining room table there lies a stack of bills that may or may not get paid this week. The clean white slip covers are piles of unfolded laundry waiting for someone to pay attention to them. And that tree house, it's just a pile of lumber behind the garage that's never been built.

And somewhere under the piles and the mess I have become hidden. Hidden from Mr. Wonderful. Hidden from myself. Hidden from my children and most importantly, hidden from God. I have let the cares of the days burry me. Just as the laundry buries the couch and the bills cover the table. Where have I gone? Who have I become? This is far from my perfect world. Am I even in the right house? Will I ever be able to find MY perfect world again? Does it exist?

Across the room I hear the laughter coming from my children as they play. Without a care in the world. They are having so much fun with what they have and here I am. Lonely, crying, depressed. Sitting at the computer typing away, felling sorry for myself. Sorry for my family and my own marriage. Sammy knocks the tower down with a thud. It jolts me. The kids cheer as they see the damage that has been done. Just as the Devil is sitting behind me cheering himself on.

Helping the children pick up the blocks to build it back up again it hits me. I hear that once familiar voice in my ear again. He whispers to me, "I miss you. Come back to me. Sit on my lap and stay for a while. You can cry if you need to. Come and let me wash it all away. Let me wrap my arms around you. I created you and I love you as no one else can. And when you let me love you again the chaos of your world fades and you will see the perfect would that I have created just for you. I never promised it would be easy or exactly the way you dreamt it would be but you have all you need. You just need the right tools to make it right again."

And now I leave you with one of my favorite songs.

Lay Em Down by NEEDTOBREATHE

testing

2010-03-17T12:39:00.004-05:00

Riley's birthday is this Sunday and his party will be on Saturday! He is so excited. All he cantalk about are his gifts, what he wants and who's getting what for him. He told us all that his Aunt Cheryle was getting him a basketball goal. I'm pretty sure she got it for him...this boy isn't loved at all!

He requested a race car cake this year. With the cost of his birthday gift from us and with the mindset of keeping things simple I decided to try my hand at making his cake. I've baked before and frosted a few cakes but nothing pretty or fancy by any means. What was I thinking getting myself into this baking disaster.

Like always, I did my research and set out to find the perfect cake to make for the coolest three year old I know. I found pictures and directions on how to make a crazy-8 race track cake. Spent some time reading the directions, going back and forth on just ordering a cake vs making it and then my hubby told me, 'just do it already!'

So I rushed out to Wal Mart and bought my supplies. Stood there quite confused as to what I really needed but in the end I, surprisingly, got exactly what I needed. Sunday afternoon I baked the cakes and mixed the frosting to get just the right color green. Crushed the Oreos, with a jar of spaghetti sauce. It worked quite well till the husband decided to help me crush them up a little more and when he hit the bag the sauce decided it was time to come out of the jar. Good thing just a little escaped because we needed that for dinner. And I was NOT going to the grocery again.

I must say that I'm pretty proud of my cake and the way it turned out. Not only did it look cute but it was super yummy. And three days later, it's STILL yummy. I should know. I'm eating a piece right now!

Can't wait till the big day and to make this cake again f

or the real party!

March for Babies

2010-02-23T18:34:00.003-06:00

Today was the March of Dimes March for Babies kick-off lunch! It went great. Not many people showed up but that didn't bring anyone down. We had a great little lunch, Tom spoke a little about this years walk and then introduced Chad, Sam and myself as the ambassador family for Graves County. I wasn't really sure what I was going to say and I was super nervous.But I just prayed about it and let God tell me what to say. I think I did okay but I'm sure I could have done better. Sam totally stole the show by showing off his mad people skills! The kid never meets a stranger. Here is a copy of the letter that I wrote that got put in all the folders for walkers/volunteers!

Dear March of Dimes Friends,

Meet Sam! The smallest member of our family, born October 30th 2008 at just 32 weeks gestation. He may be small but he sure is a fighter, strong-willed and full of determination. We joke that Sam is such a fighter because he is the baby brother to an equally strong-willed big brother-but we know the real reason. He had to be a fighter.

After being thrust into this world a bit too soon due to a partial abruption Sam was struggling to survive. just hours after he was born he left for his first car ride, in an ambulance. He spent his fir

st three weeks of life in the NICU at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital. Ten of those days he survived with the help of oxygen and surfactant therapy to help his immature lungs grow big and strong.

We know that without two very important things, our faith and trust

in God and the many medical advancements made possible with the help of March of Dimes, Sam may very well not be here with us today. Each and every new day we have is a blessing and to look at our little Sam now you would never know that he had to fight so hard for his place here on Earth.

This year we have the privilege to be the 2010 March for Babies Ambassador Family for Graves County. We are very honored to be a big part of such a wonderful and meaningful organization that helps babies just like Sam defy the odds that are stacked against them.

Without the help and support from friends and family like you, the March of Dimes would not be able to do what they do best. We hope you will join us and rally together in our mission to raise money so the March of Dimes can continue vital research in the hopes that one day all babies will be born healthy. We look forward to seeing you the day of the walk, April 17th 2010!

Sincerely,

Chad, Tyra, Riley and of course Sam

Team S.A.M-Small And Mighty!

simple pleasures

2010-02-05T19:51:00.003-06:00

Simple Pleasures-simply put!
(in no particular order)

*Indulging in a Kit-Kat after the kids have gone to bed so I don't have to share

*A cup of ice from Sonic

*Warm socks right out of the dyer

*Buying a new pair of jeans

*The feel of new Chapstick on my lips

*My favorite song on the radio

*A good hair day

*A call from my husband just to say hi

*Wet kisses from my two favorite boys

*Hearing my AWANA Cubbies say their Bible verses

*Listening to Riley sing 'Jesus Loves Me' while he looks at himself in the mirror

*Grandma's homemade banana bread

*Watching Sam and Riley play trains together-nicely. Even if it only lasts five minutes

*My dogs wet nose

*A hot meal cooked my Chad

*Phone calls from my Dad

*A cold can of Coca-Cola. With a straw of course

*Dinner out with great friends

*Monthly crop nights at church

*Dill pickles-and the juice

*The connivence of my new DVR

*Watching Sam learn to walk

*Buying office supplies

*Getting packages in the mail

*Warm brownies, hot fudge and vanilla ice cream. Enough said

*Penny ponies

*Writing notes in the margins if my Bible

*Getting a good deal

*Hearing Riley sing the apalhabet-his version anyway

*A new toothbrush

*Wrapping up in Lela's fleece blanket-made by Uncle Topher

*Receiving an unexpected gift

*Getting a haircut

*Holding hands with my husband

*Listening to 'I Wil Rise' by Chris Tomlin

*Getting phone calls from Ryan

*Putting activities on the calendar

*A fresh can of dill pickle Pringles

*Girls night out

*Playing brick breaker on my Blackberry

kindness

2010-02-02T16:43:00.001-06:00

Kindness

I think I may be the one who needs this devotion the most! I really felt that God put it on my heart to do this months devotion but at the time I had NO idea what I was going to do. I kept looking through the Bible for something that caught my eye. Searching the net for ideas, looking through some books I had but I kept coming up with nothing. Finally I decided to just let it go and pray about it. Duh, right?! I put down in my prayer journal and kept praying that God would open my eyes to whatever it is He felt I should share.

A few days later I was walking into Wal Mart and ran into an old friend. This kind of running into was not a happy one. This friend and I had parted ways in a pretty ugly way. We made eye contact for a few seconds and went on about our business like we didn't even know each other. What I REALLY wanted to do was run over and give her a big hug and tell her how much I missed her and wish her a Merry Christmas. I didn't because I knew that while deep down I really do miss her and wish nothing but the best for her...I was wanting to do it just to make her mad. One of those kindness kills type of things.

The lord reminded me that I should just smile and walk on.So I did. I did some shopping and then began to aimlessly wander the store. I found myself in the book section. Not sure of what I wanted to look at I just kind of stood there. I'm sure some people thought I was lost or something. A few minutes later this elderly man tapped me on the shoulder. I slowly turned around, a little worried about what was going to happen next. He asked about my shirt. I was wearing the shirt from The Promise. He was asking all kinds of questions. If I went to church there, how much I liked it, if I grew up there and so on. Of course I told him I loved our church and went on to invite him to join us one Sunday. He said he would love to. Then we went on to talk about life. About my boys, about work, school, the economy and whatever else popped into the gentleman's mind.

We probably stood there for a good thirty minutes. When the conversation was over we gently shook hands and then he threw his arms around me and gave me the biggest bear hug ever. It was the sweetest thing. When he finally let go I could see that he had a tear or two in his eyes. He said he enjoyed our conversation and hoped that maybe we could meet up again. As he walked away he had the most amazing grin ever. It was kind of a thank you grin, a grin that said I touched him. One that expressed how happy he was to have had that conversation. I will ALWAYS remember that man and his grin.

After he walked away I just kind of stood there. Amazed, humbled and happy. It took me a minute to regain myself and wipe the tears from my eyes. Again with the stares from strangers thinking I'm some crazy goon just standing in the book section of the local Wal Mart! I finally reached for a book that caught my eye. It was a light brown leather Bible with a pink stripe on it. I picked it up and immediately began to cry. It was then that I knew exactly why that man and I met just moments ago. I flipped through the pages and the first verse that I stopped at was Col 3:12- So, as those who have been chosen of God, holey and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

I came home, wrote that down and prayed over this devotion. Then the Lord led me to Acts 9:36 which says, Now in Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha: this woman was abounding with deeds of kindness and charity which she continually did.

When I read those two verses I knew exactly what I needed. I needed more kindness in my life. I needed to SHOW more kindness. After all, that's what the Lord wants from us. We can't be great Christians and now show kindness to others. When we do kind things it's a great testimony to who we are and what we believe. Through our kindness it shows others that people do care and more importantly, that God loves them. It seems that Tabitha was ALWAYS showing kindness to others. No matter what kind of mood she was in. I can't help but think that she never thought twice about doing them. It was part of her daily routine to fulfill God's command. We can bet that she would have never hung up on the sweet lady from Mothers Against Drunk Driving who called to share important facts just doing her job trying to earn money to feed her family. And I'm pretty sure we can assume she would have never yelled at the poor gal about time and children screaming and annoying phone calls, either. We all know that I did NOT show kindness to that woman and she probably thought I needed God in my life.

As Christians we have to be especially careful how we go about our daily lives. We have non-believers out there who are judging our every move. Show them one ugly side of you and they will think the worst. They will wonder what kind of Christian acts like that. Think back to the WWJD fad...he would be kind, to everyone, all the time.

Kindness isn't just about saying nice things or guarding your words. Matthew 10:42 says just that, And whoever in the name of a disciple gives to one of these little ones even a cup of cold water to drink, truly I say to you, he shall not lose his reward. The Lord WANTS us to do these random acts of kindness. He wants us to meet the needs of others. Grabbing that jar off the top shelf for the guy in the wheelchair, opening the door for a mom and her child, giving the waitress an nice tip, volunteering to sever soup at the shelter...anything! What we may think of as simple can mean the world to someone else.

Maya Angelou put it nicely when she said,I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I challenge YOU to do one kind thing today and every day. It will soon become a great habit that just might rub off on others.

Ryan

2010-01-31T23:10:00.003-06:00

Ryan Thomas Guiles.
My firstborn.
First boy.
June 17th, 2003.
He got his first name from his Daddy-Robert Ryan Guiles.
His middle name he got from my Dad, John Thomas. They share the same middle name.
I can't explain the joy he brought his Dad and I the day he was born.
An unplanned surprised.
Happily welcomed by friends and family.
The first Grandson for both sets of Grandparents.
Pure joy.

It's been almost six years since I have seen him. Since I have held him in my arms. Kissed him goodnight. Ran my fingers through his baby fine hair. Rocked him to sleep. Made his bottle. Gave him a bath. Got him up in the morning. Played outside.

My heart hurts for him. It aches. I want so bad to hold him and squeeze him tight. Hear him call me mommy more than just over the phone. I want to run my fingers through your thick curly hair. I want to watch you run and play. Push you on the swings.

I want so bad for you to know your brothers. For you to run and play with them. What I wouldn't do to have you here with me. To share you with your Daddy. I hope to come see you soon.

Until then, Ryan, I love you. I miss you. I pray for you all the time. I pray for your family in Michigan. I pray that when we do meet again you know exactly who I am. That we connect like it's only been a week since we've seen one another. I can't wait to see your Daddy and your Grandparents, too. It was rough but I still care for them. They still hold a special place in my heart. Just like you, Ryan.

I love you, my firstborn.

confessions of a stay-at-home-mom

2010-01-29T11:37:00.002-06:00

Very rarely do we change into regular clothes. Jammies are so much more comfy and why dirty more clothes.

Speaking of dirty clothes. At any given moment I usually have about seven or eight loads to get done. Where do all these clothes come from?

Cleaning is not something I enjoy. In fact, I despise cleaning. And because of that my house is trashed about 99.9% of the time. I don't mean nasty plates everywhere and garbage piled high. I just mean you will step on about ten toys on your way to the bathroom. Just watch out for the GI Joe. That guy hurts.

Baby gates are a great invention. Not only do they keep children corralled like wild horses where they are safe but they also provide a great way of keeping at least one area of the house clean!

We consume way more than the recommended serving amount of marshmallows and pb&j sandwiches. You can't have one without the other and we eat that meal at least once a day!

Most times I am walking around with one shaved leg and one fuzzy leg. We can blame that on the two year old coming in demanding he needs more chocolate milk before he dies and the dog has to take him to the hospital. Or the husband coming in with the baby letting me know that he has, once again, pooped in his diaper. After the long conversation about color, consistency, amount and the dreadful smell the hot water is gone and so is my window of opportunity to shave the other leg. Thank God for slacks come Sunday mornings!

While on the topic of showers...they are a rare indulgence. I can count on getting one on Wednesday evening and Sunday morning but the other five days are a complete toss up. Same goes with the kids.

Sometimes I blame the messy house on the kids. Claiming they were totally out of control or really needy so I didn't have time to clean. That one doesn't really work!

I'm guilty of leaving the place a complete mess until five minutes before my husband walks in the door. Then there's a mad dash to get all the toys put away, dirty clothes where they belong, sippy cups in the sink and marshmallows off the floor.

There are SO many more confessions that I really should fess up to but for the meantime I will leave you with just those and come back later with lots more! Off to tidy up the house...

2010-01-09T00:08:00.002-06:00

It seems I'm always wanting more. More clothes, more chocolate, more decorations for the home, more coke, more this and more that. I just want a bit more of everything. At what point will I be just satisfied with what I already have?

I have a great husband who works 40+ hours which provides me the luxury of staying home. I have two awesome little boys that bring me so much joy. Family and friends to help and support me. A roof over my head and food on the fridge. I have clothing that fits, shoes with soles and five space heaters keeping us warm. A van that works, a body so healthy I get the best life insurance rate.

Yet I want more.

I want a life. I want to get out of the house and DO something. Help people. Help myself. Help my family.

I want to MAKE something of myself. I know what your thinking-'But Tyra, you're a mom. A great mom. It takes a lot to be a mom, a stay at home mom at that.' And to you I say, 'Yes, you are correct.'

BUT.

You see, there's ALWAYS a but...

I don't feel complete yet. I want MORE.

A job, a CAREER, a degree. I want to travel to foreign lands and hold little children on my lap and share the love of Jesus with them. I want to volunteer here in town and make someones day brighter. I want to open a soup kitchen and feed all the poor and needy. I want to know their names. Give them a hug. Share with them about Jesus, too. I want more.

Am I really asking for too much?

Maybe for right now I am.

Maybe right now I have JUST ENOUGH. Enough to tide me over till I CAN get more. Enough to keep me going until I CAN get more.

wall

2010-01-06T08:35:00.003-06:00

Constructed carefully. Each brick hand picked and set myself. As tall and as wide as I want. As strong and durable as I feel necessary. This wall is my friend. Maybe my best friend. It also doubles as my counselor. I don't really talk to this wall, you see. I just throw my feelings in it's direction and I'm done.

My wall has this awesome quality of stopping whatever I throw at it from getting to the outside world. Great characteristic, I think. Though I've been told it's really not all that.

Apparently it's not so safe to make best friends with a wall. I say to those people-y'all don't know what you're missing! Really, you don't!

You see, this wall has worked great since childhood. Built by me several years ago...still standing after years of abuse. Many ugly words, physical abuse and loss upon loss. It takes it all. I really should have been a brick layer. Okay-maybe not.

After all, this wall of mine, that I built myself, isn't really there. It's just a figment of my imagination. And as I get older the game of pretend is starting to wear off. I've been fooled. By my own self. Odd.

It's taken some time to realize this. Some time that I would have rather spent building my wall much higher. Much stronger. But, I've run out of bricks. I've run out of mortar. And honestly, I don't want to go get more. It's quite expensive.

The cost of building materials have gone up. Pretty expensive now, if you ask me. This wall I talk so fondly of has become an enemy of sorts. The great job it was doing of keeping my feelings in and away from others has now started to hurt me. And those very close to me. Mainly my husband. That wall. That blasted wall.

It's time I take you down. Piece by piece. No more holding back how I feel. No more ignoring how my husband feels. No more. Wall, I love you, you've been great. But now it's time to be honest with myself. With my husband. With my family and friends.

No more relying on the wall to keep me safe.

It's God's turn.

Thank You God

2010-01-02T16:19:00.004-06:00

I found this video over at It's Almost Naptime and I just love it so I thought I would share it with all of you! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Blessings to each and every one of you!

ten things

2009-12-31T12:19:00.005-06:00

to do differently in
2010

Cowboys and Brothers

2009-12-09T18:59:00.003-06:00

This picture just makes me smile for so many reasons. I mean how can you not! Just look at those two brothers laughing and having a great time.

Bear said he was a cowboy (hence the boots and new toy gun) and that his brother was the horse. Apparently this horse pushes the cowboy on something with wheels instead of using a saddle.

*I'm really at a loss for words these days so for a bit longer some pictures will have to do. I DO have a few posts in the works but like I said, they are in the works! Hang tight!

Buddies

2009-12-02T13:22:00.004-06:00

sealed with a kiss!

2009-11-17T22:45:00.004-06:00

(click on the picture to see a larger version and Papa Bear's reaction to my kiss!)

This is my favorite picture of Papa Bear and I! We went to Garden of the Gods after the Love & Respect Marriage Retreat (more about that later!) to enjoy the scenery! It was a perfect day and a great way to end the weekend.

Things I didn't know until I became a parent

2009-10-27T19:47:00.004-05:00

As I was watching the boys play this morning I started thinking about how my life was before they were born and how things have changed. Some things were quite humorous and some made me teary-eyed! Here's what I came up with!

I didn't know that my multi-tasking would go as far as nursing/comforting a child while also trying to use the bathroom.

I didn't know there were more food groups than what's in the food pyramid.Paper products, personal hygiene products, pet food, etc.

I didn't know being a parent could be so tough!

I didn't know that silence is to be feared. Especially when you have more than one child.

I didn't know that poop is an acceptable conversation topic.

I didn't know that poop came in such wide arrays of bright colors and textures.

I didn't know that you could love someone so much.

I didn't know that I would ever utter this sentence: "Stop trying to bite your brother's toes."

I didn't realize how precious it was to shower alone.

I didn't know that when it was time to leave the house, not only did I have to remember the kids, diapers, snacks, and sippy's, but we also have to take blanket, cars, and pacis.

I didn't know I would ever bribe my child with an M&M. You've done it, too!

I didn't know that I'd have more fun with a kid's toy than they do.

I didn't know that peeing alone was the ultimate luxury!

I didn't know that "just running to the store" could take me an hour!

I didn't know that my house would never be clean again!

I didn't know that a single kiss could take away owies.

I didn't know how a sweet, milky smile could make my day brighter.

I didn't know that having a 2 year old climb into bed with me for the 2nd (3rd, 4th or 5th) time wouldn be the sweetest thing.

I didn't know that taking a shower by myself would involve various distraction techniques and bribery.

I didn't know that it was fun to squirt someone with breast milk on the face just because. Okay, don't act like you haven't tried it...or at least thought about it!

I didn't know that my husband would be a bigger kid than the children are!

I didn't know that it was impossible for boys to get all the pee into the toilet.

I didn't know that cereal was an acceptable meal no matter what time of day it is.

I didn't know it was possible to not sleep more than 2 hours at a time for month on end and still function.

I didn't know that I would have to tell my kids to stop eating things out of the dogs mouth.

I didn't know that a 2yr olds poop can be big enough to clog up the toilet.

I didn't know that when baby oatmeal dries it becomes cement.

I didn't know that when my kid ate a sticker it would come out whole, and still in full color.

I didn't know that without a diaper, breastfed baby poop has a projectile range of over 4 feet.

I didn't know I'd need to carry extra underwear in my purse, along with a random crayon, loose Cheerios , half a T-Rex, and a salt shaker from...well from somewhere!

I didn't know the perfect time to remove your child's boogers is when they're already crying.

I didn't know that I would gladly wear my child for hours on end just to get him to finally take that much needed nap and quit fussing.

I didn't know I'd be co-sleeping at night, and scared to death if the little one was in the crib and not in bed with us.

I didn't know that slowly moving your hand over a sleepy baby's face can get them to fall asleep much faster.

I didn't know that baby would be happiest with a wooden spoon or an old TV remote.

I didn't know the depth of "I would do ANYTHING" to keep someone else protected, until I saw those two lines that meant I truly had someone else to look out for now!

I didn't know that drool could be so cute.

I didn't know that a small pool filled with toy balls would be the BEST toy on the face of this earth!

I didn't know that I could be pushed to my limit by something so tiny, yet still look forward to waking up every single day to see what new thing they will discover and relish in!

I didn't know that something can make you feel as inadequate and incapable as a child.

I didn't know that a playgroup could be so stressful.

I didn't know that kids thought maxi-pads were just really big band-aids and would want to wear them when they had a big boo-boo.

I didn't know that liking your child is a bigger blessing than loving your child.

I didn't know that losing a child would make me a better mom to my living children.

I didn't know that seeing my children grow would make me love my husband more.

I didn't know that I would do 7 loads of laundry every single day and still have nothing to wear!

I didn't know that I would throw temper tantrums too.

I didn't know that with each child, I'd get dumber and dumber. Don't debate me on this one!

I didn't know that when I finally got away for alone time, I'd spend it shopping for my kids.

I didn't know that kids with boogery faces and mismatched clothes would help me relate to another mother instead of judge her.

I didn't know how genuinely excited I would be to see pee/poop in the potty

I didn't know that I would sneak into the bathroom and sit in the dry tub with my laptop pretending to take a bath to get a few minutes of alone time.

I didn't know that I would actually understand toddler language to such an extent that I would have to play interpreter.

I didn't know that it would just be easier to get the kids naked for dinner rather than scrubbing stains for the rest of the night.

And I certainly didn't know that being a mom would be this amazing!

One totally awesome and yummy cake!

2009-10-23T19:03:00.004-05:00

Just don't look at the pretty 'paint job!'

I came across THIS cake a few months ago and planned to make it much sooner but it scared me. You see, I'm not much of a cook. Okay, so not a cook at all. When I showed the cake idea to my sister she said she had to have it! So I bit the bullet and made it.

Since I couldn't find the gel food coloring I had to make due with the liquid colors. They came out pretty good even though the pink didn't stay pink.

I love how it looked after I put it in the pans!
Like I said, I'm no Betty Crocker but this cake seriously rocks! Just check out the inside. How can you not enjoy this cake. I think I had a kiddish grin on my face the whole time I at my piece(s)!!

Go ahead...oooo and ahhh over my awesome cake!

You know you wish you had a piece!

BUT

Let's just say if it wasn't for the fact that I really want Sam to have a little smash cake like this (minus the pretty paint job!) for his birthday {which is THIS FRIDAY!} I wouldn't be making this cake for a WHILE!

But she loved it and it tasted GREAT so that's all that matters!

These boots were made for walking!

2009-10-18T14:37:00.003-05:00

And that's just what they'll do. Well, more like run!

Bear was gifted an awesome pair of cowboy boots and he couldn't be more excited! He just LOVES them. Especially the sound they make when he walks across the kitchen floor or the wood floors in the hallway!

While we were getting ready for church he demanded that he wear them. I obliged. I mean, after all, he does look super cute in them. You should have seen his face light up when he heard the sound they make in the church lobby!

Thanks, friend, for the awesome boots. You've made the bear happy!

How did I not know this?

2009-10-15T23:05:00.002-05:00

Apparently while shoving the loss of our daughter in the back of my mind for fear of looking weak or becoming a crazy lady I've also ignored the fact that today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

It's not that I don't want to remember our sweet baby girl it's just that I find it easier, for the most part, to hide such sad moments from my mind. I like to think of it as a form of protection. It may not be the 'right' way or the healthy way to deal but for me, right now, it works.

And somehow in the midst of acting like nothing ever happened I've also let this special day slip my mind. Now I almost feel like total scum for even admitting that the way I feel and even more like scum that I didn't know that such a day as this even existed. No wonder why Kara wrote those sweet words to me on Facebook. My first thought was, 'um Kara honey, you got her death date wrong.' Then it went to, 'well maybe she was just having a moment and was sweet enough to think of me during her busy days.' But now, after I got smacked in the head with a package of light bulbs, I get it!

I mean really, how can someone like me, someone who has been through a miscarriage AND the loss of an infant NOT know about this? Guess I live under a rock. Like I said, I call it protection. Protection from the truth, yes, but still protection.

So while I realize I am a bit late in posting this I hope my thoughts and prayers still mean the same!

under construction

2009-10-12T15:30:00.002-05:00

I'm in the middle of changing a few things before I dive back into the blogosphere. I really loved the owls but it was a bit too busy for my liking. Now on to something new and different. A bit more streamlined!

Time-Out

2009-09-27T22:39:00.002-05:00

Well my blog friends. The time has come. I am stepping away from the blogosphere for a little while. I don't plan on being gone too long as I'm a little addicted to blogging. I just think that right now while things are as crazy as they are that I need to take a step back and put my focus on other things.

My boys are getting so big so fast and changing from day to day. I really want to enjoy all the time I can with them while they are this age! It's so fun! Riley is talking a lot more and you can even understand most of what he's saying. Sam is doing his best to try some walking. Can't believe he will be a year old next month!

I may post a few pictures here and there till I get back in the mood to blog on a more regular basis.

Till then, God bless!

Hurt

2009-09-24T22:12:00.004-05:00

It's not easy to admit when one is hurt. Specially if it isn't physical pain. Even harder to admit that it was your own {freaking} family that did the hurting.

While I wish badly that I could write it all out and use this blog as another sounding board I just can't. No need in rehashing what all happened and who it happened with. Just know that what was said/done was extremely hard to deal with.

Days later and I am still hurt. Still left with questions that will go unanswered because, well because I'm just too chicken to ask them why. And maybe that's a good thing. As far as I know one of these people doesn't even know that I am upset with them. Though it should be obvious without even talking or looking at me. What was said should be enough to make someone feel bad but not everybody has a genuine heart. Not saying mine is always genuine but I do try.

But life goes on and so does this blog. I can't let two people ruin my life. I still love them. Always will. And just for the record...NO, one of these two people is NOT my husband.

He's the best!

Bittersweet

2009-09-13T22:44:00.006-05:00

The four of us ventured out to Toys R Us this afternoon after church. They had a deal going on where you bring in old baby gear and 'trade it in' to get 20% off your purchase. We chose to get Baby Bear a new car seat. He's getting so big.

It didn't take long to pick out the new seat. I pretty much knew which one it was going to be but there was one other seat I wanted to check out first. We ended up going with the same one as we have for Big Brother Bear! The Evenflo Triumph Advance LX! We love that seat so it was an easy pick. I also like that neither of them have a designated seat since the straps can be easily adjusted and Big Brother is still rear facing! And yes, he loves it!

Here he is checking out his new seat.

I never had second thoughts about getting rid of the bucket seat. That is, until we got to the check out lane and I see this...

The backside of the car seat. No big deal, right? Well, not so much. You see, that's the seat we bought for Lela less than a week before she was born. I didn't like that it was Winnie The Pooh nor did I like the color. But it had great safety features so I was sold. Funny thing is, Daddy ended up calling her Pooh Bear. So I guess it was fitting. All three of our children used that seat. But that wasn't the connection. It was our baby girl's seat first. And it was one more thing that we were getting rid of. One more piece of our baby gone out of our home. Standing right there in that check out line I lost it. Cried like a baby.

I went to the service desk and asked if I could get a picture of it real quick. Didn't really explain myself. The employee just looked at me funny then chuckled and asked what I was doing. She was going to remove the sign for me but I asked that she leave it on. She sure did think I was crazy. Then I explained. She teared up, said some encouraging words and gave me a big smile. I rubbed the seat one last time and walked out the door. New seat in the cart and tears rolling down my face.

I was regaining composure as we were setting Baby Bear's new seat. I then see two people in red shirts coming to our van. I thought maybe they had car seat tech there that I didn't know about coming to help us. Not exactly. It was the lady behind the service desk and the manager. They had been crying before they came out. The manager asked me if I would like to keep the car seat and still be able to keep my savings. I was overjoyed. Just the thought of those two ladies was great. They truly had a good heart. Our story had touched them and they just wanted to make me happy. I fought with myself over weather or not to keep the seat. We really have no need for it nor do we have room to just store it. It was nearing it's expiration date so I didn't want to donate it. She finally asked if I just wanted the cover. After holding my hands over my face for a few second I took her up on the offer. She told me to come in after we got the boys settled down and she would get it for me. I don't think it was even a full minute later she was back out with cover in hand. She handed it to me and I held on tight for a few moments and shed a few more tears.

Almost four years later and I am still having such a hard time with this. Actually, I think her death is just now hitting me...or maybe just hitting me harder than it has before. I'm glad to know that no matter how good or how bad things are God is right there with me. He is there is every high and every low. Even this one!

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. Psalm 54:4
Cast all your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22

Busy These Days

2009-09-09T21:44:00.002-05:00

We have been so busy lately that I have neglected my blog. How tragic. I really am sorry to you few loyal readers. Now you have something, however pathetic, to read!

Riley is still doing great in his big boy undies. He doesn't always make it but that's okay. He will one day get the hang of it. The Elmo undies are his favorite. I knew I should have bought two packs of those since now I can't find more.

He is getting so much better with listening and not throwing tantrums. I don't know if it's something I did or if he's finally growing out of it. Either way, I love it. He has a 'time out' chair and we use it pretty much everyday but it works well and seems to do the trick. Another trick - 1 2 3. Yep, that's right, I'm counting. "Don't make me get to three!" That's me. It really works. Never thought I would use that trick but man, it works.

As each day comes and goes Riley is saying more and more words and piecing sentences together. True, I am usually the only one that can understand him but I am still proud! He is getting so big I can hardly stand it. Where did my baby go? It's already time to buy new jeans, shoes and even some shirts!

***********************************

Sam is growing like crazy. He is still a tiny little thing but he is getting there. The poor fella will have to wear one piece outfits throughout winter since he is so small...he would crawl right out of the pants.

Speaking of crawling, this kid cracks me up. He has the Army crawl mastered but refuses to pick his belly up off the floor. One day I sat him by the toy box and looked away for a moment and when I looked back at him he was standing up. I freaked out. He hadn't shown any signs that he was even near ready to do such things. Before we know it he will be running around the house with his brother.

He's also got two bottom teeth! Those things hurt. I am so glad they are on the bottom though otherwise I'm afraid nursing would hurt! The little bugger still refuses to take a bottle of any sort with anything in it. He's a true mama's boy!

Can you believe his birthday is just around the corner. It just occurred to me today that I need to be thinking about what we are going to do on his special day. I'm thinking Elmo. I didn't want to do any character themes for their first birthdays but he really seems to enjoy Elmo. And after-all...it's all about the kids!

**sorry, no pictures this time. I'm pooped and just too lazy to grab the camera and upload any! Next time, promise!

Father & Son

2009-09-06T16:36:00.003-05:00

These two boys bring so much joy to my life. They love spending time together and I love watching them do it. This particular evening Paper Bear and Bear were laying on the floor watching cartoons and holding hands. It doesn't get any better than that.

Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.
Psalms 127:3

Changes

2009-09-03T21:08:00.003-05:00

Nothing major. Just some simple {yea, that's a lie!} life changes. What I mean is that it's time to get myself back in shape and eating better. No more sitting on the couch and complaining that my thighs are too wide while I eat a whole pint of ice cream. No more drinking a few cokes a day and eating anything in sight that is sweet.

Nope. No more. Okay, maybe a little here and there. Can't go all cold turkey now. It's time to bust my hiney and do something about it. I've been saying that for a couple years now. But seriously, this time I've GOT to get off my rear end and get moving. Need to find some motivation. Something to keep me going once I start. Hmmm. Still working on that one.

I am determined to prove to myself that I CAN do this. It's not about losing weight. For me it's about living a healthier lifestyle. Being able to get and stay active for my boys and get my body nice and toned again. No more baby belly.

What exactly am I going to do? Well, I don't know yet! Yea, silly I know. But I've found a GREAT website called SparkPeople and it is chock full of all kinds of goodies. Anything from nutrition {I refuse to say diet!}, fitness, accountability and so on. It's a place to get information and also a place to talk with other people who are needing the same thing in message board forum. All kinds of free videos to use as well.

Today I did the whopping six minute lower body video and let me tell you, it's gonna take a while to get used to this. I'm also thinking I might try bike riding! I've always wanted to.

That's it for today. Time to get back to drinking more water. Coke, I'm gonna miss you!

In Check

2009-08-31T23:41:00.005-05:00

Far too many times I find myself trying to control the outcome of anything and everything I do. Not only what I do but what my children and even my own husband do. It's amazing to me how much we, as humans, think we are in control of our lives. We do so much on a day to day basis just making decisions on a whim. Not thinking anything of it. We just do it and go on about our day. We go on doing what we think we are supposed to be doing. But are we sure we are doing what God wants us to do? Is what we are doing or about to do for God's glory? Have we consulted God in prayer before doing it? It's so easy just to carry on from day to day not thinking about God has planned for us and where he wants us to be. For several months now I have had four words stuck in my mind-

"...just pray about it." Those four words are forever etched in my mind. I do make a lot of decisions on a whim when needed but don't think that quote doesn't cross my mind before and after the decision has been made. Those four words were said one night by the owner of a local scrap book store. Whenever someone was stumped on where to put something, if they should buy this sheet of paper or that one or for more important things such as family issues she would proudly say those four words, 'just pray about it.'

As silly as it sounded the first time I heard it I went ahead and prayed about where I should put that sticker and if I should get that dinosaur paper set that I strongly felt was calling my name. I know what you're thinking, come on Tyra, really? Praying over THAT? Yes, seriously. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Did you catch that? Pray when? Pray continuously. Yes folks, that means to pray even when you are scrap booking.

Prayer is pretty powerful. Scratch that, prayer is REALLY powerful. If I did not pray and ask God for help and guidance I am pretty darn sure my life would be OUT OF CONTROL. He keeps me in check and focused. Ecclesiastes 7:14 says "When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider:God has made the one as well as the other..", God has MADE one as well as the other. God IS in control. He plans things well whether we think it so or not.

When I saw this picture of Riley it made me think about control and prayer and how they work together. It's pretty simple just as the picture shows. At first it just looks like the kid loves to wear my pink hat and walk around with my Bible but after looking at it some more I thought, you know, the kid looks all a mess and seems to be missing a few important items if he were to really be walking out of the house like he thought he was and then it hit me. He's got all he needs. That Bible holds it all. Glad that kid keeps me in check.

Popsicle

2009-08-27T22:56:00.005-05:00

Today Little Bear had his first popsicle courtesy of big brother! He thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it. That is, till I took it away.

I'm sure the cold yummy sweetness felt good on his teething gums. The poor guy has been feeling rather yucky these days so this was a real treat.

{More about our missed week later. I'm off to fend off Captain Snot and help the Poop Troop invade the toilet!}

Crazy Busy Whoa

2009-08-27T22:01:00.005-05:00

WHOA! This week, well the past few actually, have been pretty crazy. Bear has been just that, a bear and so has Little Bear. We are deep in the middle of terrible-twos and teething. What a combination! I can't blame the crazy-busy-whoa all on the two boys though. I've had a bad case of the blahs. Bad. I haven't wanted to do anything, go anywhere, talk to anyone...nothing. Melissa-don't you say a word, I know what you're thinking!

I have a bit of a feeling why I've been this way but for now I will just keep that to myself. It's nothing serious and nothing that I won't get out from under. Just in a funk. A not so nice funk, but a funk that I will outgrow! Been doing a lot of praying to get out from under it and I have faith that God will pull me through and when I'm out from under this black cloud I will be my old self once again. While I continue to pray could I ask you to do the same? Just keep our family in general in your prayers. And that means that Mandy better be prepared for me to be over everyday once again!

So even though we have had the blahs we did manage to survive the last couple weeks. Bear has been in undies for the last two weeks and has done GREAT. Far better than I thought he would. He thinks that when we take Oli outside to go potty that he has to go, too. Boys, there's just something about peeing outside that they just love. Little Bear has two bottom teeth which took forever to come in and sure do hurt when he bites me now! Oli has adjusted fabulously. Hasn't had a single accident in the house and plays so well with the kids.

Now I'm sure after all that reading you would like to see some pictures. Because, after all, a blog post just isn't a blog post without pictures, right!?

How we do 'time out' around here! KIDDING!

Our daily walks now consist of avoiding the house with one thousand (okay I exaggerated a little on that one) cats so that Oli doesn't go crazy.

It's A Boy

2009-08-21T11:00:00.004-05:00

Meet the newest addition to the Spain family - Mr. Oli{ver}!

We adopted Oli from my good friend Kara! I feel honored that she would ask us to adopt Oli and love on him just the way she did. It was a hard decision that was prayed about from both sides. We put this tough decision in God's hands and he reassured us that it would all work out. Oli couldn't be a more perfect dog! I just know he is the perfect fit for our family...what we have been waiting on for so long now! God is good, even with dogs!

Look how sweet and cuddly he is! {love}

I think Papa Bear is even in love, but shhh, don't tell him!

Kiss The Cook{s}

2009-08-17T11:03:00.003-05:00

The kitchen needed to be cleaned and the boys were needing some entertainment.

Enter two bowls and two plastic spoons.

It really doesn't take much to entertain the two of them! It was so fun watching my two bears sit and play with the simplest of things. And to think at one point I was worried at how well they would play together!

{Ask me about that very same thought in about thirty minutes when Bear is trying to sit on Baby Bear's back!}

Beacause I Warned You

2009-08-14T18:15:00.003-05:00

I have a habit of talking about all things gross. If you know me then you know just how true that is, if you don't yet know me, well take this as your fair warning-for the second, or maybe even third time! I just can't help it.

Bear wants to show you what he has been up to these days. He can't let Baby Bear be the only one to show off this new skills.

He's just a little proud!

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

2009-08-10T13:39:00.002-05:00

And the WINNER of The Love Dare is My Messy House!

I was so excited with the amount of people who entered my FIRST blog giveaway! What a success. I simply cannot wait for you go get this book and get started on it! What a blessing it has been for Papa Bear and I.

Slight Addiction

2009-08-08T17:33:00.003-05:00

Over the past week I've come to the harsh realization, thanks to my husband and a couple friends, that it appears I have some sort of addiction. I have to be honest here, it's not easy admitting you've got an addiction. It's even harder to sit here and type it out for all the world to see.

I've tried to kick it to the curb. Really, I have. I've tried only spending a certain amount of Papa Bear's hard earned money on this addiction per week. No luck. I've even tried avoiding where I purchase said addiction.

It seems like everywhere I go-there it is. Right there in front of me. Begging for me to 'get some!' My day just isn't complete without it, several times over. It's sad really.

See, I told you it was bad. REALLY bad!

I Dare You to Love This Giveaway!

2009-08-07T05:00:00.003-05:00

LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS,
BELIEVES ALL THINGS,
HOPES ALL THINGS,
ENDURES ALL THINGS,
LOVE NEVER FAILS.

1 CORINTHIANS 13:7-8

I can vouch for all of the above. In our five years of marriage Chad and I have seen it all. At least I hope it's all. We have been through a lot of hard times. With those hard times came 'down times.' And when I say down times I mean times when our marriage felt like it was about to go down the drain. Sad but true. This blog IS all about honesty. And I can't lie about a perfect marriage. (the giveaway is coming...wait for it)

BUT

We are still here. Still together. Still happy and very much in love. I can't take the credit for this...and neither can Chad or anyone else who has helped us along those hard times. We can only give all the credit and GLORY to the one true GOD! If it were not for Him I know without a doubt that our marriage would have been over with long ago. (wait for it)

BUT

I'm so happy to be able to stand (okay I'm sitting!) here this evening and tell you that you CAN overcome troubles in your marriage. I've seen couples recover from a cheating spouse, alcohol and drug abuse, physical and emotional abuse, the loss of a child, severe sicknesses and everything in between. It's not easy...but I know how they did it!

It was a God thing! Romans 8:28 says 'And we know that in all things God works for the good for those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.' I know for a fact that God had his hand over us and saw that we made it through each and every hard time.

During a recent hard time Chad and I decided to step outside our comfort zone and try something new. We signed up for the Fireproof class at church. I was nervous. Chad was nervous. Luckily (I think!) half the people who signed up didn't show so we had a small group. Which was AMAZING. We were able to let lose and share some very intimate and personal experiences. It was a great class and we learned so much.

I said ALL that to say this...

At the end of the class we were gifted with a copy of The Love Dare. Chad had already bought me the Limited Edition for Valentines Day. Don't worry, I asked for it personally...it was not a 'hint.'

I have to admit that I have yet to finish the book...or even get halfway through it but I have great plans to. And I will.

But I can't possibly keep this all to myself so that's why one wonderful reader will be gifted with this awesome book! (YAY, my first giveaway!) I have held onto this extra copy for a couple months now waiting for just the right time to give it away and now's the time!

The winner will be picked randomly (I promise!). To enter just do one, or both, of the following two things...
1) Leave a comment telling me how much you love your spouse and why you would love a copy of this book.

or

2) Become a follower.

It's that easy! Thanks for stopping by.

God Bless!!

Sitting Duck

2009-08-02T14:50:00.003-05:00

Look what I can do!

Inside

2009-08-01T22:33:00.003-05:00

Step inside my brain and see what's going on in there.

I want to go to college. For what, I don't really know. {how well do those silly 'this-is-what-you-will-be-good-at-in-life-so-go-to-college-for-this tests work?}

Thought long and hard about getting my hair chopped off...looks awesome.

Bear was supposed to get his hair cut but he freaked out. Mommy gave him a sucker anyways. I know, I'm a sucker!

I totally forgot to call my Dad on his birthday. I even bought a calendar so I would remember WHEN to call him.

Got a great compliment this week, was told I would make a great kindergarten teacher. I think that's a compliment. And actually I had thought about that same career choice once. Once!

It's not the kids that scare me...it's the parents!

Been doing a lot of thinking about Lela these days. Good thoughts though. Ones that make me smile.

I love our house more and more every day. {I said the house, NOT the location}

Even have some great ideas for the boys' rooms. Can't wait to get started! Bright and cheery colors are the plan!

Mmmm, I have one more voucher for a FREE white coconut and pineapple slushie from Sonic. Can't wait to get that redeemed tomorrow!

I bought an awesome dress for the fall/winter for a whopping $6.47. Seriously, ya can't beat that. Would look great with some leggins, my new obsession!

I'm quite sleepy now. Time to find the beloved Sesame Street pillow I've had for 15 years and call it a night.

Sweet Dreams and God Bless!

Monday

2009-07-27T08:02:00.002-05:00

Words are escaping me right now. My heart is heavy.

Monday usually marks another blogisode of NOT ME! Monday but you see, my friends, Jennifer {creator of NOT ME} is having an awful time right now. Stellan has taken a turn for the worse. Please head on over to her blog and read about dear Stellan. If you have Twitter follow MckMama as she updates quite frequently about his status. To the left of her blog you can also read her Twitter updates.

PLEASE be in constant prayer today. Pray for wisdome for his doctors, strength for his mom, comfort for Stellan. Whatever you pray for...just PRAY!

Potty Break

2009-07-23T23:53:00.004-05:00

Whew.

It's been a rather long day.

Last night before bed Bear decided that it was time to ~~party~~ potty.

I may have been better prepared for the party.

But we ~~partied~~ pottied anyways.

I mean who am I to stop nature, or the urination of a 28 month old.

Sometime in the evening hours Bear told me that he wanted to take his diaper off.

Diaper came off.

It all began with this statement,

"I go pee."

"That's fantastic, son. Now lay down so Mommy can change your diaper."

"NO, I GO PEE!"

Okay okay.

Enter the POTTY!

I must give credit where credit is due...Elmo {and your potty time DVD}, you've been a great help. {but please come out with the poop edition soon!}

Bear pottied two and a half {yes, half} times last night before getting bored and going to bed.

It went better ~~than anyone could have expected~~ the first night.

Game on this morning. He ripped that diaper off and ran to the potty.

Which is in the living room.

Which is also soon going to bite me in the butt. {pun intended.} I have a feeling he may forever think the potty is in the living room. Poor guy will be devastated to find out that it's really not.

The floor only got flooded once today. With pee.

Yep, you guessed it. He pooped on the floor.

I know what your thinking..."did your kid not have any undies on?" That answer to that my friends is a big-fat-NO!

Why...well I figured it would be easier to potty learn without them. Simple as that.

This plan may also backfire on me. Like when he's four and thinks he can run around naked...then pee in the living room.

Back to the poop.

{I'm thinking that my blog should have some sort of disclaimer. I mean, after all, I do have two boys, a husband and let's face it...bodily functions make me giggle a little}

Both the bears were quiet. Laying on the rug in the kitchen and playing with cars.

Bear walks into the carpeted living, by way of the carpeted middle room, with something mushed between his toes.

Couldn't be melted chocolate. I ate that the night before while all through the house not a creature was stirring. Yea, I'm just gross like that.

After a ~~full~~ quick investigation I knew exactly what it was. Really, I knew what it was all along but was hoping he had somehow found some left over chocolate. Hey, a potty training mom can dream, right?

There it was. In all it's glory. Here, there, over there, some more over here...

Faith, Hope & Lullabies

2009-07-21T21:47:00.003-05:00

This CD literally grabbed me the other day. Not joking here people. I rushed in to grab some of those blasted puffs for the bears and as I was turning the corner {and dodging someone I knew} the hanging strip doo dadd caught me. Not only was I busted by said person spotting me I was also busted and STUCK! Way to go!

I digress...back to the story.

Apparently God was trying to tell me something when this happened. One of their little slogans is "Peaceful Music for Quiet Moments." I gotcha God! For a couple weeks now I had been 'planning' on getting up early before everyone else to have some alone time. Some one-on-one with myself and the Lord. Never happened. Not gonna lie, I was just too lazy to get up.

I didn't buy the CD. Still don't have it, but I listen to it online and I LOVE it. The boys love it as well. Riley says, 'sing song again, momee.' And I oblige.

Wonderful good to listen to when I'm reading the Word, rocking one of the boys or drifting off to dreamland.

Next trip to Wal Mart and I am FOR SURE getting this CD. It's 10:04pm right now. The guys are all sleeping...think they would miss me if I left right now?!

Prayer

2009-07-21T09:52:00.004-05:00

Please say a prayer for my step-mom, Pat, today as she has to have a mole on her face (by her lip) removed. The dr did a routine exam and sent a piece of the mole in 'just in case' and it came back cancerous. Took them all by surprise. She had to go see a plastic surgeon to get it removed. I believe she went into surgery around 10am North Carolina time...an hour ahead of me here in Kentucky.

Pat, I love you and I sent up all kind of prayers for you (and you Dad) this morning. If you are the praying kind please pray that God had his hand on her during the surgery and she comes out great and heals quickly. Or if you are the cross your fingers kind...be sure to keep them crossed extra tight!

Love you Pat!

homemade

2009-07-18T22:34:00.005-05:00

The 14th Papa Bear and I celebrated our FIVE year anniversary!

The gifts were sweet and simple.

I was gifted with the second book of the Twilight series. Can't wait to read it...again.
Along with the book came some Reeses candy, my favorite,
and
a mushy card! It was sweet.

Papa Bear was gifted with a wooden bowl (wood is the traditional anniversary gift for five years!) to hold all the 'pocket goodies' he collects during the day.
Sounds silly but he loved it.

Along with his awesome wood bowl he was surprised with a made-from-scratch red velvet cake!
Yep, I made it! From scratch! (just had to repeat that!)

{all the ingredients}

{when you don't have buttermilk handy, just make your own!}

{everything all mixed together}

{now it looks more like a red velvet cake in the works}

{can't forget to taste test it}

{jumbo cupcakes-no icing}

{Papa Bear's mini cake and wood bowl}

Blog Hop- 3 Things You Didn't Know About Me

2009-07-14T09:33:00.002-05:00

It's Tuesday again and you know what that means. It's time for the MckLinky BlogHop! Hop around the blogosphere and get to know a few things about complete strangers...you may even make new {blog} friends!

This is a tough one.

You all know I change my hair style about as often as I change my undies. Sometimes it's pretty and sometimes...not so much.

We all know how I scrapbook. Okay, I attempt it but my ADD gets in the way and I end up just talking.

Coke is an addiction for me. As well as Sonic!

So let's see...what DON'T I tell everyone...

1} You may not know that I was born in North Carolina. So I guess that means I'm a southern gal after all. I grew up in the city and always thought of myself as a city gal. That was until I moved to Kentucky in 1997 against my will-lived here a few years then moved back to Michigan in 2001. Only took a couple years to realize that I really did love the south. So here I am, back in the south. Even more crazy, I LOVED when we lived in Texas...can't get much farther than that. Chad says there is one {well a couple things actually but this is the only one that's funny} thing keeping us from moving farther into the country...he's afraid he will come home to a petting zoo! I can't say I don't blame him.

2} I secretly yearn for a college education. Sure, I enjoy being able to stay at home with the kids but one day I want to get a degree. Thing is...I can't decide I'd like to major in. While in high school I took college level classes in the medical field. Aced those suckers and even got some credit hours under my belt. Never did good at any of my other studies but I sure did stick it to 'em with the pharmaceutical {thank heavens for spell check!} math so on.

and one more...this is tough stuff.

3} Deep inside I have a strong desire to do great things. To make a difference somewhere, somehow. I have tons of ideas floating around in my head. And I mean tons. From helping parent{s} who've lost a child to those spending time in the NICU and to those who just cannot afford the finer things in life for their kids. I wish so bad that my heart could pick one grand idea and let me run with it. I'm still praying!

Not Me! Monday

2009-07-13T07:38:00.005-05:00

It's MONDAY! So far so good. I've actually been up since 6:30 and I am in a good mood. Shocker, I know. It couldn't be from the Vanilla Coke that I did NOT drink at 6:31am!

In case you don't remember, MckMama is the genius behind this wondeful thing. Go on, check it out!

I am NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT seriously furious at the fact that I totally did NOT forget to stay up till midnight and register for the all-day crop at church. It is NOT full and I do NOT have to be put on the waiting list. I am NOT seriously, beyond words, ANNOYED

This week I was NOT a lazy fool who mostly sat around in my jammies all day. I'm certainly better than that and shower every day!

I did NOT buy Bear a pair of super cute Superman jammies and after I did NOT buy them I did NOT let him wear the {stinking} things for three days-straight. I mean, come on, I take better care of my children than that.

{I did NOT just post this picture for the second time this week!}

After being invited to a little mom + child{ren} pool party I did NOT wear my 'mom-suit.' And while in said 'mom-suit' I did NOT allow anyone to take a picture of me. NOR did I allow myself to post it here for all the world to ~~see~~ laugh at! I will also NOT be looking for a new one right after posting this!

Last night I did NOT love the idea Papa Bear came up with. And because I did NOT love that idea I was NOT all giddy that I got to take both kids with me to church while Papa Bear stayed home to clean. I still do NOT love his idea!

And lastly

I did NOT stay up past my bed time {do I even have one?} reading all about gardening. I mean...ALL ABOUT it. I was NOT the least bit interested in Square Food Gardening. I must NOT ever admit this to my Bear-in-law {cool name for the father-in-law!} for he will NOT laugh at me. He has NOT been trying to get me to garden for at least five years. I certainly can't forget to mention that while I was NOT looking at a gazillion websites about NOT gardening I was also NOT lookign at starting a worm farm. Gross, I mean really?!

{sadly, I really don't have any picutes of random people this week.}

A shout out

2009-07-13T07:25:00.002-05:00

I came across this awesome blog/stationary designer who does AWESOME work! Check her out here, her name is Danielle! Seriously, her stuff is great! Right now, and I do mean RIGHT NOW, {you've got till the end of the day TODAY!} she's hosting a giveaway!
The lucky {if you believe in luck-and I don't} reader will a free pre-made blog design!

My favorite is the Mod Bird! I'm a little obsessed with all things birds. Owls specifically. I'm thinking that even if I don't win I may just have to buy the owl stationary. I mean seriously, it's got me written all over it!

So...what are you waiting for...get your tail on over to Danielle's site and enter to win!

insert cute title here

2009-07-10T22:46:00.004-05:00

This is just a shameless post about my oldest Bear and his new jammies and Baby Bear's new kicks that his Memaw and Auntie saw fit he own! Because, you know, big brother can't be the only one with a pair!

you asked for it

2009-07-09T23:21:00.005-05:00

Ask and you shall receive. Answers that is. While it's still early in my blog life I have had a few people ask me the same couple questions over and over again. I don't mind answering, honestly. In fact, I'm quite honored. I don't mind sharing my stories with anyone...well most of them. So, here goes it. If your question did not get answered then just ask in the comment section and I will get on it!

In no particular order...

How long have you and Papa Bear been married?
We will be celebrating five years on June 14

How did you two meet?
My mom actually introduced us when she and Chad worked at the same place. I was a junior in high school. Soccer practice had just ended and the coach dropped me off where my mom worked so I could wait for her to get off. I had heard about Chad from my mom but nothing more than some silly jokes. Apparently she had talked about me because the minute I walked in he knew who I was. Nothing says cute and sexy like long knotty hair caked in mud, dirt filled soccer jersey and shin guards! But there must have been something magical in it all.

How long did you date before you got married?
Now you see my friends, that's where it gets a little complicated. We dated for almost two years. At some point it became hard to deal with the age difference between the two of us. Six years. When your 24 and your girlfriend is six years younger than you the family just doesn't approve. We parted ways. I moved back to Michigan and Chad carried on with life down yonder. We remained friends and talked often. During this time I had my oldest son, Ryan. In the early months of 2004 we decided we were meant to be together so we made it happen.

When did you get married and was it your dream wedding?
We got married on June 24, 2004. It was a quick wedding followed by a 900 mile 'honeymoon' drive to Amarillo, Texas. Just a small and simple wedding in the gazebo in Metropolis, Illinois. (I love that town and desperately want to move back!)

So wait, you honeymooned in Texas?
Um no! Chad got a job offer for the same company he was already working for down in Amarillo. We decided 'why not?!' so we took it and ran with it. Well we drove. Running down there would be the death of me.

How many children to you have?
Together we have three. I have a six year old son

Wait, that doesn't add up...?
Sure it does. I have a six year old from a previous relationship (not to be confused with marriage). He lives with his Daddy in Michigan.

I'm still missing something?
When we lived in Texas Chad and I had a beautiful baby girl. Four months later she went to be with the Lord.

What are their names?
Ryan(6) Lela(would be 4) Riley(2) and Samuel(8 months)

How do you 'do it' (you must be referring to my son and daughter not being here)
WE don't. The Lord DOES! And that is my honest answer. I have no idea how we could or would do it alone. I know for sure that I would be a mess and I'm sure I could say the same for Papa Bear. It's not easy. Or pretty all the time. But we make it. It could be worse. Many marriages end after the loss of a child. Not us. We live IN Christ and he lives in us. HE provides the means for us to 'do it.'

What happened? (again, must be referring to our daughter)
THEY say it was RSV. RSV that went undetected. RSV that showed NO signs of existing in her tiny body. WE say it was her time. In the medical world THEY say she more than likely had a sleep apnea spell in the early morning hours. She cried. We let her fuss. Were in the middle of trying the CIO...never again. We believe that was her last cry.

And to your son?
Long story and don't want to get into too many details. Young and stupid could sum up most of what happened. Not that fact that he existed, that was irresponsible. Wouldn't take it back though. The young and stupid refers to the choices I made when his Daddy and I were parting ways. We still talk. Not as often as I'd like. And no, I haven't seen him since he was ten months old.

Do you want another girl?
As in, do you want to replace your daughter...no. Would I be totally okay if the Lord saw fit we have another child...a girl child...of course.

Do you want more children?
Now that depends on the time and day you ask me. But really, I think I would like one more. Maybe two. It's not up to me. We will leave that up to Him.

You've mentioned your Dad on here before. What about your mom?
I love her. We just don't get along. That and I struggle with the idea of total forgiveness. But she's here. Active in our life and the lives of our children. Bear just loves his Nana.

What are you hobbies/interests?
It changes. A lot. I do love scrap booking and always have. I love reading Christian fiction and murder mystery type books. Photography really interests me but I have a hard time staying focused enough to really learn it. I love to go fishing with my husband. Hope to one day be able to take the boys without the fear of one wanting to go 'swimming.' I also love getting together with friends and their children.

WHEW! I'm wore out now. I think that's it for now. If I left anything out just ask away in the comments section. Sure hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little bit more.

The 8th of July

2009-07-08T17:23:00.005-05:00

You'll have to forgive my tardiness in getting these pictures posted! I've been crazy ~~busy~~ lazy! But it's all good even if I'm four days late...it is my blog after all!

Papa Bear started the morning out right by getting us all some breakfast from McDonald's. The man did right and got me an Iced Mocha.

After breakfast we got ready and headed downtown to 'Glory Days.' It was great to see lots of old cars and hear some ~~of the best~~ karaoke.

There really wasn't a whole lot to do but we had a great time being together as a family and walking around.

There was one thing that got rave reviews from Bear. Anyone want to guess before I show ya?
.
.
.
After 'Glory Days' we came home and we all had a lovely nap! Nothing beats snuggling with your three favorite boys for a couple hours!

When we all woke up it was time for some dinner, daddy-style. Papa Bear grilled some steaks, corn and a stuffed portabella mushroom! Mmmm, it was divine!

The weather was a lot ugly for a while so we were unsure about the fireworks. But in the end all was well and off to the fireworks we went. The boys did great! Bear kept saying 'oh wow' in the most monotone voice ever. It was hilarious. He seemed more amazed with the moon playing hide and seek than the fireworks. I'm just glad we all had a great time.

Here are their matching shirts that I did ~~not~~ buy. You can read more about their shirts NOT matching here! And take note that the Bears have bears on their shirts. Yea, I'm cool like that!

Look Daddy!

WONDERFUL MEMORIES

It is well-Blog Hop

2009-07-07T07:52:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite pictures from when Sam was in the NICU. He wasn't normally a fussy baby but for some reason that day he was. I walked to his side and held is hand. He wrapped those little fingers around mind and ALL WAS WELL!

*Be sure to join in the fun with this weeks 'Blog Hop.' A great way to see others out there in the blogosphere and let them see you as well. Take a look-see at all the other pictures from today. (to play along just click on the MckLinky logo for directions!)

Not Me! Monday

2009-07-06T09:27:00.007-05:00

Another weekend has come and gone so you know what that means. Another round of 'Not Me Monday' Join in with the rest of the blogosphere and admit what you most certainly did NOT do this week.

Same as (most) every Monday. Check out MckMama's Not Me Monday post. Read what others did NOT do this week and post your own!

While in town for Sam's check-up I did NOT venture off looking for that 'perfect' swim suit only to come home with a 'mom-suit.' Complete with the whole skirt thing. Nope, I didn't do that. That would mean that I'm getting old. And we certainly do NOT want to mention that. And while I'm at it beating myself up over the swim suit that I did NOT buy, I will add that I most certainly do NOT feel like an old lady wearing a moo-moo!

I did NOT buy my two Bears matching outfits to wear on the 4th. And I did NOT, because I would never be this anal about it, wash them (on the 4th) after they both got them dirty. Just so they could wear them again to the fireworks. I am NOT the matchy-matchy-outfit-kind-of-mom!

I have NOT fallen into the trap of wanting an iphone. Again, I have not fallen in love with it. And since I have NOT fallen in love with it I have NOT been pestering Papa Bear about getting me one. We did NOT run into someone he knows over the weekend and he did NOT offer to sell me his. I did NOT get all giddy about it. Papa Bear is NOT leaning towards fulfilling my desires.I would NOT be as happy as a kid in a candy store if he did that! Nope. Because remember, I don't want one!

And once again I did NOT take pictures of any random people (namely the neighbor) nor do I have another picture to prove it.

lay 'em down

2009-07-05T21:08:00.004-05:00

No fancy words or cute little family pictures today.
I've had a great week and I'm sure if I sat here long enough I could entertain you with a funny story and a picture to match...

BUT...this week has been different. I'd love to explain exactly what was so different about it but all I can say is that it was a GOD THING!

Things here at the Spain house have been slow. Which is a good thing. I was able to spend quality time with the Bears and Papa Bear as well. Along with that I've been able to spend some awesome, and much needed, quality time with the LORD!

Day in and day out I've shared with Him my struggles, my prayer requests, my good times, praises and everything in between.

And while doing so this song has played over and over again in my mind. I can't tell you how many times I've played in on the computer and I get all giddy when it comes on the satellite radio in the van! (wish I could figure out how to work that stinking 'favorite' feature on the radio to save it!)

So, instead of the funny story and cute little picture, please enjoy this song. Listen to the words. Don't take them lightly. Do as it tells you. God is pretty serious stuff, ya know!

Come down to the river
Come and let yourself in
Make good on a promise
To never hurt again
If you're lost and lonely
You're Broken down

Bring all of your troubles come lay 'em down
All you sinners
And the weak at heart
All you helpless
On the boulevards
Wherever you are now
Whatever evil you've found

Bring all of your troubles
And come lay 'em down
We're all tied to the same old failings
Finding shelter in things we know
We're all dirty like corrupted small towns

We'll bring our troubles
We'll bring our troubles lay 'em down
All you rich men
And the high above

All those with And without love
All you burdened Broken down
Bring all of your troubles
Come lay 'em down

Chickens, Mayfield and Talent-Kevin Skinner

2009-06-30T22:08:00.008-05:00

Yes, I promise, they all coincide. I meant to post this sooner but it totally slipped my mind. (forgive me will ya, Kevin!?) I've never met Kevin Skinner nor have I ever heard of him. Until recently. America's Got Talent has got to be one of my FAVORITE summer shows of all time and it only gets better when someone from this same exact city is lucky enough to be on that very show!

Kevin is just a good ole' country boy. Making a living the way most do around here...in the chicken plant. As funny as it sounds it's a pretty common place to work. It also pays the bills. And I'm sure it has helped this man in going the distance and getting what he wants and deserves.

If you watched America's Got Talent then I hope you got to see Kevin perform. Poor guy was laughed at the minute he walked out on the stage. The crowd and judges doubted what he had hidden beneath his worn jeans, rugged boots and faded ball cap. He didn't let that stop him. Kevin got out there and BLEW THEM AWAY!

Just listen for yourself! Kevin, man, you've got my vote! Anyone who can bring me to tears like you did ALWAYS gets my vote! Good luck in all that you do!

Kev @ Yahoo! Video

Not Me Monday

2009-06-29T10:36:00.005-05:00

I rolled out of bed this morning dreading the fact that it's another Monday. Then I realized that it's not so bad, after all, Mondays mean it's time for NOT ME! Monday.

MckMama over at My Charming Kids is hosting the oh-so-famous Not Me! Monday. Click your way over there and check it out. It's fabulous!

It's been a while since I've done a Not ME! Monday and I have a bad habit of forgetting things so bare with me as a compile my list!

I did NOT, because I never do, do the 'stuff n fluff' several times this week just to get out of REALLY cleaning. I love cleaning.

I most certainly did NOT let my Bear play outside in his pool naked because I was too tired (or lazy?!) to go in and get a swim diaper.

The rebate checks from AT&T did NOT come in the mail and I did NOT hide them from Papa Bear so I could not do one of two things A) use it for our five year anniversary or B) use it to buy the kids more goodies!

I did NOT get totally busted.

While stopping at the gas station to get the obvious, gas, I did NOT snap a picture of some redneck guy who drove his MOWER to said gas station to get gas. Not me. I never take pictures of random people without their knowledge. And I certainly do NOT have the picture to prove it.

Fireproof Fun!

2009-06-29T08:59:00.005-05:00

Seven weeks ago Chad and I started a journey that we were very unsure about. More about that later. While on this journey we met some great people. I take that back, we got to know them better.

We all got together on Saturday and had an early dinner at Whalers Catch. The guys sat at one table in another out if sight of us four girls. People sure did think we were a strange group. It was nice to be out with a great group of Christian women for a change. We talked about the Fireproof class, about our children, our love for God, our marriages and about getting together again...many times over. I forgot to take pictures of us at the table and of our food-I didn't want them to think I was entirely strange just yet. I did manage to get a couple shots of us all though.
The Guys (from left to right: Scotty, Chad, Seth, Bryan)

The Girls (from left to right: Shannon, Lisa, Me, Holly)
I just realized that we should have stood in order so they would match up to who was married to who but I will explain that now. Shannon is married to Seth, Lisa to Scotty, Myself to Chad and Holly and Bryan will be married some day!

After we ate the rule was (and yes, since this was a marriage class we did have rules about date night!) that we had to split up and have alone time with our spouse. There was no rule as to what we had to do...it was just supposed to be you and your spouse. We broke the rules...imagine that! But we couldn't help it. Holly and Bryan are just so much fun to be around. We couldn't decide what to do so we ended up just staying downtown for the Downtown After Dark festivities. We also wanted to swelter in the heat. All 99 degrees! We mostly sat around joking and talking. And of course people watching!

This picture of Chad and Bryan crack me up. I mean, just look at the size difference! We call them Batman and Robin!

And since we were on a 'date' we figured we might as well do something romantic. So a carriage ride was in order. It was a nice wrap up to an all around great evening.

**be sure to keep checking the bloggy-blog for an awesome giveaway. once you see it posted be sure to let your friends in on the fun as well. share the link with those you love.**

Happy What Should Have Been

2009-06-27T00:46:00.011-05:00

Lela. Today is your birthday. Your fourth birthday to be exact.

Daddy and I miss you lots. It's not fair that you can't be here with us. I've always imagined you and I dressed alike in pretty dresses on your birthdays.

I like to think about all the fun we would have watching you tear open your gifts. Tossing the paper up in the air, smashing the bows on your head.

That's what you should be doing this year. We should be playing dolls, coloring with water colors, learning how to ride that pretty pink bike that Daddy would have put together. Complete with the pink streamers, white basket and annoying horn. I know you would have loved it.

I'm not usually so sad on your birthday since I know you are in Heaven celebrating even bigger and better than we can imagine but for some reason this year I'm hurting a lot more.

Happy Birthday Lela Marie ~ We love you always

Mommy-goggles

2009-06-25T19:05:00.004-05:00

I've got mine on. Got yours? We all own a pair. Admit it, you think your kids are the cutest ones on the entire planet. Forget about Brangelina's kids, or the Lopez twins and even little Miss Suri Cruise. Your kids got them beat, hands down. No bones about it.

I'm right there with you. Of course you have cute kids, but mines cuter...through my mommy-goggles! This post comes with a little story behind itt. Read it or scroll down to see the cutest kids, EVER!

Today has been a rough day. It's day two of Bear refusing a nap. I can't tell you how many days it's been since Baby Bear has had any sort of good sleep and today was no exception. Bear couldn't decide if he wanted pancakes or cereal for breakfast so, I, being the push-over mom that I am, gave him both. Then he fed both to the floor. The floor with carpet. Apparently the carpet likes Cheerios and cinnamon pancakes better than the linoleum.

Oh, and in case you didn't know...I'm in the running for Mom of the Year. Like the most cautious mom I sat Baby Bear in his bouncy seat (which is atop the coffee table-told ya I was cautious), strapped him in and snapped a bib around his neck. Wouldn't you know just as soon as I start feeding the hungry bear the phone rings-of course it's just the blasted health care telemarketers calling for the 16th time in one day. But I answer it. I really wanted to give them a piece of un-Christlike attitude. (bows head in shame)

I digress...back to the story.

Phone rings. I jump up and run to the kitchen since I can't use the cordless. Why you ask, oh my sweet Bear threw it in the pool this morning. The recording (God knew what he was doing not putting a real voice on the other end) chattered away and I huffed and stomped my foot. And then as if in slow motion I watch Baby Bear lean forward (new trick there!) and plop right out of the (safety?) belt and fall right onto the floor.

So how's that for Mom of the Year!?

Go fish

2009-06-24T18:21:00.002-05:00

These are the best kind of days. Fishing with the family. Taking in the sweet smell of summer. Papa Bear teaching Bear how to fish. Bear getting excited when Papa would catch something. I just loved watching the two of them interact. Such great memories to be treasured that day. And many more to come.

John Deer

2009-06-18T16:28:00.002-05:00

What I learned while mowing the grass. Which I never do. But since the Grandfolks have been out of town for about two weeks now we thought we would be nice and take care of it. It was my idea. Have I mentioned that I'm a pro when it comes to bad ideas! Well, it wasn't THAT bad of an idea...we WERE doing something nice for the Grandfolks but I didn't realize the work it took!

On to lessons learned...

1. When Papa Bear tells you to ride the John Deer that is about twelve years old, and he rolls out on the newer mower, you know you're in for a good ride. (can you hear the sarcasm?)

2. John Deer thought it would be fun to have everything automatically shut off when not enough pressure is applied to the seat. A really good idea for safety reasons, but VERY comical when the rider of the Deer is just a few pounds heavier than a 13 year old.

3. When mowing around and under a tree one should always 'duck' or risk getting smacked in the face by said tree. Not that I wasn't ducking...

4. Tree stumps will throw you off balance.

5. Watch out for the ditch.

6. Be sure to wear a sports bra...especially if the yard is a bumpy one.

7. When mowing make sure you point the spraying of grass clippings in the OPPOSITE direction that you are going. Too many clumps of clippings under the thing can cause some blockage.

8. Use the reverse.

9. Always check to see if the blade is down before you think you are actually cutting the grass!

10. If you see a snake-run it over. No matter what size. It's still a snake.

11. If you think you're not good at mowing the grass...you probably really aren't good! haha

As the summer continues I am sure I will be adding more mowing lessons. But take what you learned today and apply it next time YOU cut the grass! Just be sure that stinking seat has enough weight keeping it down!

Six

2009-06-17T15:59:00.002-05:00

June 17th, 2003 at 4:20am I gave birth to my first son, Ryan Thomas.

Ryan,
In case you ever read this, this ones for YOU! I love you. I miss you. Not a day goes by where you are not on my mind. I pray for you. I long for you. I talk about you a lot. But I miss you more. I've missed out on most everything in your life and I hope to one day make up for that. You know, I grew up without my Dad around, just like you are growing up without your own Mom, and it hurt. So I know exactly how you will feel one day. That day you realize that your real Mom is not there with you. That she is another state. With other children. Without you. I never get to see your sweet face. Hold you, hug you. I just want to wrap my arms around you. To touch the top of you head, all that hair. I bet it's kind of crazy just like your Dad's.

One day, my son, we will be reunited. I will hug you like never before. I will wish you Happy Birthday over and over again, how ever old you are is how many times I will say it. If not more. I can't believe you are six already. SIX! Wow, first grade. A real big boy now, you are.

Happy Birthday Ryan. I love you. Forever and always!

Love,
Mom

This man

2009-06-14T21:23:00.003-05:00

...is the best. He certainly deserves a lot more than a few quick words. I may not have grown up with him around, he may have seen me grow up in pictures, heard my voice quickly change from the squeaky four year old to the older version of a squeaky daughter but he is MY DAD and I LOVE him!

Meet MY DAD!

Nope, not me

2009-06-08T23:02:00.002-05:00

I am joining in on the fun over at MckMama's. A blog carnival created and hosted by MckMama, where mothers, wives, and other bloggers from computers around the world deny doing the things that they did during the week. A sort of confession-type therapy, only we're not really confessing are we? Well you might be, but I'm not. Nope, NOT me!

And I so totally did NOT steal pretty much that whole paragraph from another fellow blogger. Thanks, I totally do NOT (well of course we know I really do!) owe ya! haha

I did NOT think about blogging all week long. NOT one little bit. Nope, I NEVER do that. I also did not wish that I had taken my camera with me everywhere this week to NOT take pictures of some pretty cool and pretty funny things that I could have NOT blogged about.

I did NOT put Bear to bed without a routine bed-time-bath even though he really needed it. And it was NOT because Mama Bear really needed some big girl time. Nope, most certainly did NOT do that.

I did NOT totally forget to feed Baby Bear some yummy porridge then wonder why he was crabby. I mean, who would ever forget something like that. NOT me! Nope, NOT me.

I did NOT step on the toes of a good friend of mine and ultimately hurt her feelings. And I most certainly do NOT feel like the biggest heel ever.

I did NOT forget to do my Fireproof homework from last week. Nor did I forget to do it the week before that either. NOT ME!

And I did NOT, under any circumstance do something nice for my husband this week. (this one is NOT a confession, rather a pathetic brag that I was nice to Papa Bear after NOT being mean for three days straight!) Like I was saying, I did NOT get him a special brownie from McDonalds and NOT get myself one for a change. And of course he did NOT ask me if I got it for free...since I was being so nice! He didn't live it up either.

I am NOT posting this without any pictures...because, if you remember correctly, I did NOT forget my camera while out and about this week.

Crazy in love

2009-06-04T14:05:00.005-05:00

If there's one thing I've learned since getting married and having kids it's that love and discipline are both VERY important. Sounds odd...but it's the complete, Gods honest truth. Without both things the household can-and probably will-become a jumbled mess. And sometimes that jumbled mess can turn into a total disaster.

After a rough week here at home with the Bears, and Papa Bear-don't worry, Mama Bear is not excluded-I've decided that it's time to set some rules. Children need boundaries. They need tough love. We all need to be respected and loved. As a married couple Papa Bear and I have learned about the 'Crazy Cycle.' Really simple concept...really hard to swallow! Essentially if act out of disrespect he reacts without love and it just goes 'round and 'round. The same thing can be applied to children.

You'd think that after being married for almost five years (Papa Bear...it's July 14th!) the hubs and I would have a great working relationship and know EXACTLY what we each need to be happy and feel loved/respected. Truth is...we don't. We know some, but not all.

And same with the kids. One would think that after knowing your kid for two years (and then some) we would know exactly what he craves, what discipline techniques work and what don't. How he likes his milk and so on. We know the basics but it's time we dig deeper.

Um, wow. So I just confessed that my family is a little out of touch with one another. Yep, it happens. But it's not the end of the world.

Time for Mama and Papa Bear to have an 'upper management' meeting and set some rules and goals. For us. For the children.

Nothing too crazy. I think we just need a daily reminder to be the family that we desire to be. As soon as I got this idea I went straight to my trusty friend-Professor Google. While he and I talked I learned a few tips that are essential in creating family rules...

Make the rules age appropriate for your kids.

Make sure Mom and Dad both agree on the rules.

Keep the list as short as possible … too many rules, too much to remember.

Keep the rules positive and no finger pointing. (instead of 'no yelling' try 'we all talk sweet to each other.')

and lastly

Figure out if your family needs an incentive to follow the rules weather it be stickers, treats, time on the video games or computer, a special outing...the list can go on and on. What works for little Jack may not work for his sister Jill.

I don't have any fancy rules set up just yet because I am waiting for Papa Bear to get home so we can discuss them together. But when I do, don't worry, I will bore you with them. I'm hoping to make them look fun and pretty and possibly put them on the wall somewhere. May even show you that!!

Watch out summer

2009-06-01T22:44:00.001-05:00

It sure was a great way to start out the month of June! The bear cubs and I went to a dear friends house today and had a BLAST playing outside! Five boys total...four that can run around and make quite the mud hole! We managed to stay out of the mud for the most part today going from the pool to the play-set to the slip n' slide!

Baby Bear wanted to play with the big kids in a bad way but he had to settle for the saucer thing (saucer thing= super very technical and fancy word for what it's really called...which I forgot!) and the swing!

I could feel the heat today and apparently Bear thought he would 'fight the fire' and cool things down...yea, didn't work. But I did get a couple great pictures of him trying.

Between fighting 'fires' and playing in the pool Bear thought he would try out some other future career moves. You see, first option is the fireman.

If that falls through then there is always the chance to try out for worlds strongest man.

How about male model?

No?! He does seem to be more of a rough and tough kind of guy...how about a mechanic?

All of which he would be great at...dontcha think!?

Fun with photos

2009-05-30T19:57:00.000-05:00

Not much to say today. Just some cool pictures I've had fun editing!

Some are awesome, some not so good and some are just crazy!

Enjoy

A realization

2009-05-30T00:41:00.000-05:00

Everyone wants to be liked.To be accepted. To impress others. We all want to have a good list of people we can call friends. But sometimes having those desires can lead to forgetting-or not even knowing-who you are as yourself. As an individual. Your own being.

People pleasers, if you will. The world is full of leaders but sadly, it's also full of just as many followers. People who are afraid to be their own individual. Who bend over backwards to make sure someone likes them, accepts their lifestyle, the way they look, their opinions. These people often find themselves lost when alone. People pleasers.

I've realized that I, myself, am somewhat of a people pleaser. And not in a great way either. If I'm going to please people it needs to be for the glory of the Lord. I am not here to win people over. To impress anyone. To agree with everything they say. I am a grown woman. I have my own family. I have been through more hardships than one my age should ever have to go through. I have an opinion, too.

I AM ME!

Like it or not, I am what I am. And God made me that way. He wants me to be the person I am today.

But-and I say this with a strong BUT-I can still be that great Christian that I aspire to be AND still have my own opinion. Style. Dreams. Rules. Friends. and whatever else my little heart desires.

It's MY life.

I was not put here on earth to judge you, or anyone else. And neither were you. We will all be judged in the final days by the on true God.

Whenever you speak, or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law of love, the law that set you free. For there will be no mercy for you if you have not been merciful to others. But if you have been merciful, then God's mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you. James 2:12-13

**I WILL please these little guys though

...

A sad farewell

2009-05-28T19:28:00.000-05:00

Today was the last time Baby Bear got to see Dr. Snyder. She was there on-call for our regular pediatrician when I went into early labor with Baby Bear. I was very worried not having our regular dr there but she was AMAZING! Words cannot describe how thankful we are that she was there to care for our Baby Bear and keep us calm while she accessed his health and had to make that tough decision weather to keep him in Paducah or send him on to Vanderbilt. Of course we ended up in Vandy but that was mighty fine but us! All the while we remained in contact making sure all was well with Baby Bear. His stay in the NICU was only three weeks (but those three weeks felt like an eternity) and was able to come home happy and healthy. We've continued seeing Dr. Snyder and our regular pedi, Dr. Roach during the last, almost, seven months and my face just lights up when I see her hold Baby Bear. The way she looks at him just makes me want to cry. You can tell her heart was in taking care of him.

She is a traveling dr so she is off on, yet, another journey. This time to Colorado. She's been there once before. I have to admit that I cried a little when I found out she was leaving us but I know she will bless another family that needs her help in Colorado so I shall let her go! As a parting gift we wrote her a sweet thank you not and got her a Willow Tree angel that is holding a wire balloon saying 'Thank You'

Dr. Snyder...we will never forget how much we were blessed to have you enter our lives for such a brief, but VERY important time!

*and YES, that IS in fact a Pink Floyd t-shirt! Leave me alone!!

Now on to the appointment itself. I know, I know, this post is never ending...bear(haha-get it?) with me! Maybe this will keep you interested. While waiting for the dr to come in Baby Bear (or BB for short) was just amazed with the wall paper. So much so that he kept yelling at it-in his best terradactyl voice-and trying to grab the birds.
BB doesn't sleep. At all. Okay, I lied. He sleeps for about two hours at a time. Day and night. By the time evening rolls around the poor guy is exhausted. Dr. Roach upped his Prevacid solutabs in hopes that it's the reflux and this will calm it down so he can sleep and not be restless. He also saw that he still has a lot of fluid in his ears. Second month in a row now and once before a few months back. And one ear infection. The dr said that if this antibiotic doesn't clear it up and in another month he still has fluid we may have to talk tubes. I hate to go that route but I would also hate not to, fluid in the ears all the time could lead to hearing and speach problems by the time he's a toddler.

(what's that, you want to see more pictures of the Baby Bear? Okay!)

And since Mama Bear was such a good bear! at the drs office she got a special treat...the holy grail right here baby...

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-27T22:05:00.001-05:00

*Almost didn't make it but they are here! Enjoy

Nicknames

2009-05-24T00:34:00.000-05:00

I have to preface this by saying this is not my original idea but I am totally stealing it. Hey now, it's not trademarked, copyrighted, or patented so it's fair game! Just joining in on the fun!

Though I love the names of my wee ones and the hubs I thought it would be mighty cute to for us all to have nicknames in the Big Blog World! While the hubs and I were painting the kitchen it hit me-the idea, not the kitchen-I came up with the 'names.' *okay the kitchen really did hit me or maybe it was I who hit the wall a few times; so not only do I have green hands and fingers but also a green elbow and probably some green stuff growing on my legs as well!

Ah, off topic again. See what happens when you have ADD And you stay up way too late!

To the names...
Mama Bear
Papa Bear
The Bear
Baby Bear

You see, my friends, Chad nicknamed Riley Bear many moons ago (okay, not that many since he's only two!) and so it was only fitting that Sam be Baby Bear. You see where I'm going with this...

So...welcome to the BEAR family blog. Sit down (but not in MY chair) and have some porridge*!

*I totally had to look up how to spell that one!

Favorite Picture Friday

2009-05-22T13:01:00.000-05:00

Just what boys are meant to do!

Look at those piggies...could they be any cuter?

Wordless Wednesday-Brothers

2009-05-20T16:11:00.000-05:00

Motivational Monday

2009-05-18T09:45:00.000-05:00

*first a short note...my mind has been so full of things to blog about and pictures to share that I just haven't been able to post anything. Well, I could have, and I tried, but it ended up a jumbled mess of run on sentences, far too many pictures and enough topic changes to confuse even Einstein! (How many commas can one use in a single sentence?)*

I find myself on a God high on Sunday's but usually by the time that Monday rolls around I have the yuckies. The kids always seem to wake up grouchy and I'm faced with the fact that my hubs has to go back to work. Why can't my Sunday high spill over through the rest of the week? It can, and from now on, I'm making a commitment that IT WILL! Starting by spending more time in The Word on a daily basis and praying more often. Thus beings Motivational Monday! Each Monday I plan to post something motivational. It could be something I find that's motivational to myself, to a dear friend or it may just be something that God put on my heart for me to post for someone else! He works that way, you know!

~MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY, May 18th, 2009~
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
-Erma Bombeck

This quote speaks to me. We are studying spiritual gifts in our Sunday school class and this goes perfectly with it. Not to mention that for the past couple years I have been struggling trying to figure out what it is that God is calling me to do. It may be something as simple as just doing what I'm already doing or it could be more. I have a pretty good feeling I'm abuot to catch on though. And when I do I'm going to use everything He gave me! He is going to shine through me in everything I do!

Does this quote motivate you? Are you using everything He gave you?

March to the beat of a diffrent drum

2009-04-27T20:35:00.000-05:00

I've tried my hand, feet too, in the marching band once before. Didn't last long. I soon realized I was not coordinated enough! That really has nothing to do with this post other than the word "march!" (yea, I'm a dork like that!)

But I AM capable of raising $200 for the MARCH FOR BABIES! Let me clarify...with the help of a few great and faithful friends and family members, Chad and I were able to raise that $200!

We walked with another family who just so happened to be the March of Dimes March for Babies family for our area this year. What an honor for them!! I know the Lord had a hand in them being able to share their story with other families.

In total Luke's Gang raised just over $3,000 this year! Isn't that AMAZING?!

Here are a couple pictures from Saturday's walk!

I can't imagine

2009-04-22T21:29:00.000-05:00

Not sure why I say that since I really do know how they feel. They- being the parents I read about (in the blog world, mostly) who have had to endure the pain of losing their precious little ones far too early.

I've cried my heart out reading about Madd ie, and Sage and countless other babes who have left their marks on this earth. So little they are yet what a huge impact they have on my life, and the lives of others.

Each time I read a new blog about such sadness I find myself crying out for their parents thinking, 'Those poor parents. I can't imagine how they must feel. There has got to be something I can do. What in the world can I do to let them know I am thinking about them and keeping them in my prayers?' HA! How stupid does that sound coming from ME!? I, of all people, should know EXACTLY what to say, EXACTLY what to do. But for some reason...I don't.

Could it be because I have this awful way of bottling up my emotions? *Note to self, bottled emotions are not like fine wine...they don't get sweeter with time* I'm pretty sure one thing that I'm good at is hiding how I really feel. Scratch that...I am REALLY good at doing that. And while I am at it I will say that losing a child is NOTHING like the Lifetime movies make it seem. Maybe it's because in the movie it's not ME losing the child, but they make it look pretty dramatic and obnoxious. Sure, it's dramatic but not (okay, at least not for me-then again, that could go along with the bottled emotion thing...) fall-down-on-the-floor-kicking-and-screaming-so-bad-you-fall-in-the-grave-on-top-of-the-casket dramatic! It's more like watching it on the tv screen and being in shock thinking how in the world can the good Lord take something like that from us kind of shock!

Anyways...the whole point if this blog (if you got this far...thanks for reading the ramblings!) is that I DO KNOW HOW THEY FEEL!

Lela Marie-our sweet baby girl who went to be with the Lord (too soon!!) at just four months old.

Time for a change

2009-04-15T07:50:00.000-05:00

We have only been in this house ofr a little over a year and already I want to put a new coat of paint on all the walls. I THOUGHT I really liked the colors that I picked out the first time but I soon realized they are just horrid. Seriously, it's awful. The colors just clash in the worst way. I mean really, who puts maroon walls in the kitchen with the adjoining room some baby puke green?

Um, yea, that was me.

Not quite sure if I was well aware of the bad decision at the time or not...tried to blame it on fumes from working in the candle factory but I had long quit that job so that one didn't work. Bad taste is all I can say. So this time around I did a little research at the University of Google and came up with this...

I really love the color combination. It allows me to have some fun colors but not go too bright. Anything is better than the ugly and dark maroon that I just had to have last year. I also want to take the cabinet doors off of some cubbards to open it up a bit and put my new canisters in there!

Now the living room is...well...undecided. Right now it's a tan color that I can't wait to paint over. I made the mistake of getting all brown furniture. Brown couch, brown rocker recliner and you guessed it, a brown glider rocker. Kind of silly I think. Maybe I can figure out how to make a cover for the glider. That's a good idea!! Oh and I can't forget...we have light tan carpet and a wood entertainment center. I do love my brown...but not THAT much.

Grandpa!

2009-04-09T18:07:00.000-05:00

I have several favorite pictures of my Grandpa but I think these two are some of the best ones yet...well besides the one from when he took me to the Daddy-Daughter dance!

**Flash back SEVERAL years ago**I remember that like it was yesterday. I had this oh so pretty (or ugly since I was NOT a dress girl. Still not!) pink dress with the big hula hoop deal at the bottom making me look like some sort of bell. My mother feathered my hair like every young gal from the 90's. It was pretty sickening, actually. Despite the fact that I looked hideous, even though at the time it was apparently the style, the night itself was a fairy tale. I danced on his feet, he twirled me around in circles, swung me in the air and under his legs and we even boogied to the Chicken Dance! After the festivities we went to Bubble 'n Squeak to get a bite to eat and my favorite, a Shirley Temple...complete with THREE cherries! Man that just topped off the night. I just love drifting back into time to relive moments like those with my Grandpa.**

Present day...I find myself getting teary-eyed as I watch my Grandpa with my two boys. He has this look in his eyes that just screams how much he loves them. I can't even begin to say how thankful I am to be able to see them as often as I do, have them be a part of my life and have them watch my children grow. It's such a good feeling when you see him looking at me from across the room as I love on my boys and he has his huge smile on his face. He's proud of me. Proud of my boys. Proud to be my Grandpa and a Great Grandpa to Riley and Sam.

I snapped these pictures on Saturday during the Easter egg hunt at my Grandparents church. I had gone inside to check on Sam and came back out to see this...I became a big blob of goo!

Favorite Picture Friday

2009-04-03T10:43:00.000-05:00

Today's FPF will be a little long since I haven't had a blog up and running in a while...and since I have so many new pictures that I am just in love with! I will try not to go overboard!

Sammy fell asleep with his new favorite blanket!

Daddy and Sammy having a staring contest!

Sammy giving big brother Riley some slobbery kisses!

Daddy and Riley taking a walk in the park!

Riley and his most favorite buddy, Alex!

By popular demand

2009-04-01T08:32:00.000-05:00

I'm baaack! Okay, so it may not be 'popular demand' but I have had a few requests to return to the blogging world. After I spent some time thinking about it (read: was too lazy to set one up before now) I decided to oblige. Gosh, I wouldn't want to deprive my fans of some great Spain Family moments, though I'm sure some of you just want to read what stupid things I've done lately.

So here it is everyone...the NEW BLOG! I haven't quite decided if I am going to keep this strictly family related or not. I have so many ideas it's hard to decide which one(s) to go with. Of course, having ADD doesn't help me much now does it? I won't bore you with the many ideas floating around in my head-think of it as a nice surprise each time you check me out on here.

Like Forrest Gump says, "...life was like a box of chocolates.You never know what you're going to get." Since I love chocolate and the movie Forrest Gump I thought this quote was quite fitting!

Tune in next time...